Becoming, Part Three
by sbyamibakura
Summary: Spike/Buffy Summers, etc. Set in the middle of Becoming, Part Two; possible spoilers for the entire series (including comics.) Well. They never said it'd be an *easy* Reward.
1. Chapter 1

Becoming, Part Three

By: PhoenixJustice

Disclaimer: BTVS is owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and others who are not me. I only own this story and make no profit from this.

Warning: Rated M for graphic sexual content, language, violence, etc.

Pairing: Spike/Buffy Summers, etc.

Setting: In the middle of Becoming, Part Two; possible spoilers for the entire series (including comics.)

Summary: Well. They never said it'd be an _easy_ Reward.

A/N: Some lines taken from Becoming, Part Two.

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She storms out of the apartment, anger swirling around her as much as the sadness threatened to choke her. It seemed nothing but a lose-lose situation. Still, she'd...she do what she had to. She _had_ to. She had no other option _but_ that.

"Wait!"

She stops briefly, turning to see Whistler coming out of the apartment after her.

"You gotta listen to me." He pants, as he reaches her. He seemed awfully out of breath. He must not have done a lot of cardio. Some 'immortal demon' he was.

"I don't have a lot of time and I don't have a lot of patience." She bites out.

"I get it, okay? I do." Whistler says. "And believe you me, I _would_ have left you alone but when the PTB get you on speed dial, you listen to what they have to say."

She shakes her head, starting to leave. "I don't have time for this."

He grabs her arm. "Look. This wasn't how things were supposed to go. Not just Angel," He adds, when she tries to speak. "I mean us, here and now. But who am I to argue with the PTB? I'm just their messenger. And they have a doozy of one that needs tellin'."

"And what is this 'message' exactly? They've already taken so much away from me that I-"

"And they also _give_ you things, to fix the balances. It's all about the balances, see?"

"What needs 'balancing'?"

"You." He says. "Future you, anyhow. Did even more good. Suffered a lot. We're giving her-you-another go 'round this place. It's the reward she wanted." He laughs a little, looking bemused. "All the things you could'a asked for Summers and you wanted to be with _him._ Interesting choice."

Her head was spinning a bit with information overload, but she didn't, for whatever reason, think he was lying to her.

"Of course I'd want to be." She says immediately. "Angel is-"

He shrugs. "Not talkin' about, Angel. But," He continues, at her shocked look. "It's not something you gotta worry your pretty little head about. You're about to get put back onto your original timeline, with no memory of any of this conversation, to continue on your original path."

He touches her head and she gasps. Feeling her consciousness fade, the last words she catches are "You and Spike, huh? Gotta say, I never called that. But what do _I_ know? I thought Angel was going to save everyone from Acathla."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

She gasps, consciousness coming back to her quickly. The last thing she remembered was a PTB sent Cordelia saying they were ready to pay her back for her work. Twenty years after Sunnydale died, she had been the last surviving member of the Scoobies. The one whom should have died first (for good), died the earliest, should have been The Slayer. She had outlived the life expectancy of all Slayers, but at the expense of losing all those she loved.

Losing Spike... That had been the hardest. As hard, harder even, then when she had lost him the first time in the Crater. He had been her stalwart companion, her Champion, for all of these years. Had been her final companion, the only one left in their group besides her, until he had died saving her from a magical assault.

So when Cordelia had said that she could have a Reward, it had been absolutely easy to decide on what it'd be.

 _'Really?' Cordelia asks. 'That's what you want? I'm not trying to dissuade you. I just want to know you understand the scope of what you could have.'_

 _'That's all I want.' She tells her, swallowing hard against a tide of pain inside of her. 'He's all i've ever wanted, even before I ever realized it. Fighting things all again...I can handle all of that, even just knowing he's alive.'_

 _'If that's the case, then I have to make it clear that you that it's going to have to be a moment where you're in contact with something from the PTB; they need a conduit to be able to send you back and a direct channel is the best way to do it.'_

 _'That's fine.' She reassures her. 'I'll accept any time and place.'_

 _'So be it.' Cordelia says in a stern sounding voice, before winking at her. 'Gotta sound official before I do anything. Any last words before you go?'_

 _'I'll try and be a better friend to you?'_

 _Cordelia laughs. 'Sounds good. Maybe you could make me less bitchy earlier on! See you, Buffy.'_

 _'See you, Cordelia. Till the next life-'_

She blinks and stares into the eyes of Whistler. She gains instant awareness of her surroundings; by his look and _her_ look, she knew where she had been placed. Well. They never said it'd be an _easy_ Reward.

"Go." He urges her.

She needs no further prompting and runs.

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She hurries down the street before slowing down as a cop car approaches. Her heart pounds. Had that brief wait been too much? Had she somehow missed him? The cop car stops, with a man getting out, gun in hand.

"Stop right there!" The man exclaims, gun in hand. "Hands on your head! Do it!"

Seconds later, the man is out as a man kicks and punches him into unconsciousness, right atop his police car hood.

"Hello cutie."

Spike grins at her.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

She stares, her heart thudding a mile a minute in her throat. It had barely been minutes since she had got brought back into her past and now what she wanted most was already in front of her.

He just didn't want her.

...or did he? She swallows hard. Hadn't Spike once told her something? That he had been in love with her longer than he had realized? That the dream he had had was something that simply showed him a longstanding truth? But how _far_ did that truth lead?

Loving her or not, this was _Spike._ She has to steel herself from tackling him to the ground and holding him tight. Now was _really_ not the best time (and yet it also felt like the _only_ time to her.)

"Spike?" She says confusedly.

This was real. It was _supposed_ to be real, but what if it wasn't? What if this was some long, elaborate dream? She had to know. She feigns a punch to him and nearly gasps when his hand-cold and nails flecked with black paint-grabs her now, her heart thudding in her chest.

"Hey now, none of that." He chides her. "Came here to talk."

It takes her a moment to realize he's still holding her arm, but he lets go and the moment has passed.

"Then talk." She says softly.

"I want to help you take down Angel."

She laughs, though he'd not get the true reason why.

"I _do._ " He insists.

"And why do you? It's not like you and me are..." She falters for a moment. "Allies."

"Yeah? Well, I don't want the world to get sucked into eternal torment and damnation either."

"You _do_ realize you're a vampire, right?" She asks, wryly. "Pretty sure it says in the Evil handbook-"

"We're big talkers, vampires. 'I'm going to destroy the world.' That's just tough guy

talk." He walks back over to where the cop still lay unconscious, jumping to sit on the hood. He absently pats himself for what she knows is him looking for cigarettes. Finding none, he starts to pat the officer's shirt. Finding what he's looking for, he grabs a cigarette and lights it, dropping the pack on the officer.

"Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I like this world. You've got... dog racing, Manchester United and you've got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision.

With a real... passion for destruction." He looks squares at her. "Angel could pull it off. Goodbye, Picadilly. Farewell, Leicester Bloody Square. You know what I'm saying?"

"You don't like Angel. I get that. But why come to me?"

He jumps off the police car, flicking his cigarette away, not looking at her. "I want Dru back. I want it back the way it was, before he came."

Her heart sinks and she has to take a moment to compose herself, eyes closing. She knew he held feelings for Dru now, but it still hurts to hear and the jealousy in her is very hard to ignore. Every fiber of her just wants to reach out and touch him, to kiss him and let him know how much she loved and wanted him, but she knows she can't.

"I lost a friend tonight." She says. And it was true. And instantly she is filled with a regret for Kendra, that she once more couldn't be saved. Would Faith still be Called to replace her?

"I wasn't in on that raiding party-"

"I know." She says. He stops whatever he might have been going to say next, looking at her with a wary eye (which she couldn't blame him for. She remembered very well how she used to be. And how adversarial their relationship had been at the time.) "And I agree with you. So talk."

"I can't fight them and neither can you-!" He stops his rant when he realizes she's not fighting him or sniping back at him with her words. He eyes her. "Wait. You agree?"

She nods and his eyes widen before he gives her a calculating look. She could see the gears turning in his head.

"Yes. So let's go talk."

"Right." He says, obviously a bit flummoxed. "Let me just kill him then-"

She clears her throat and he stops. The baffled look on his face was cute and she knew that she should probably be a bit more upset at his ease in which he wanted to kill the-now stirring-police officer, but she couldn't find it in herself to feel that way. All she could feel was relief in seeing him. Relief and love. So much love.

"Oh. Right."

"Right." She says amused.

And off they walk.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

But where to take him? She knew her mother was looking for her and if they went to her house, there would be a lot more questions from her mother than answers she could give (she really didn't want a repeat of how her mother found out she was the Slayer last time.)

Really the best alternative was probably where she needed to go soon too, anyway. She snorts a bit. It wasn't really funny, but it had a sort of irony that she couldn't help but laugh at; at the fact that she got her 'prize' and was instantly in the midst of having to stop an apocalypse upon claiming said prize.

"Going to share with the class, Slayer?" Spike inquires.

He probably thought her a bit mad; but then again, he was used to that sort of thing (having shacked up with Drusilla for so long.) She shrugs, glancing over at him.

"Wouldn't _you_ like to know?" She smirks. She turns back, not seeing the surprised and confused look on his face. "Anyway, I know where to talk, so..."

She leads them to Sunnydale High. She had to get the Sword. Plus if there were still cops lingering around where she didn't need them, she'd have some backup to scare them off, so that was a plus.

She can see Spike look around interestedly at the mayhem strewn everywhere as they get to the library.

"Who died?"

"Kendra."

"Who?"

"The other Slayer. Drusilla killed her." She says neutrally.

"Dru bagged a Slayer?" He didn't have to sound _so_ proud, she thinks grumpily. And how fucked was it that she was focusing more on that then the situation. Probably very, but she couldn't help herself.

"Don't have to sound so proud." She mutters. She glances at Spike. "She was my friend."

"Right." He actually looks a bit uncomfortable now. He glances around. "This is where the band of Merry Men meet up, is it? Makes sense, I guess."

"Yep. It's right on the Hellmouth." She says. "'Boldly they rode and well, Into the jaws of Death, Into the mouth of hell-'"

"- Rode the six hundred." Spike finishes, looking at her as if she had grown five heads. He stares at her in amazement. "You know Tennyson?"

"I-"

"You do know this is a crime scene, don't you?" The voice of Snyder says. Ugh, of all the things she had to deal with, he was one of the worst. Could she persuade the Mayor to eat him pre-Ascencion ritual? "But then... you're a criminal, so that pretty much works out."

"You know I didn't do it." She tells him calmly, reminded of that night, this night, very keenly, despite how many years it had been for her. "The police will figure it out."

"In case you haven't noticed, the police of Sunnydale are _deeply_ stupid." He takes a step towards her, though he has wary eyes on Spike. "It doesn't matter anyway. Whatever they find, you've proved too much of a liability for this school. " He takes in a breath. "Ahh. These are the moments you want to savor. You wish time would stop so that you could live them over and over again." He smiles an ugly smile at her. "You're expelled."

She rolls her eyes. Been there, done that. She instead focuses her attention on the bag in front of her, pulling the Sword from it. She turns back towards Snyder-and Spike-sword in hand.

"You never had any dates in high school, did you?" She asks Snyder.

"Your point being?" He asks, snidely.

She shrugs and walks off. Spike follows her a moment later, glancing back in the direction of Snyder before looking back at her.

"Well he seems all sorts of..." Spike remarks, trailing off.

"Troll like?" She supplies. "Unpleasant person you want to punch in the face again and again?"

"Yeah. That." He gives her another strange look. "You on alright, Slayer?"

She smiles. "Yep!" She says perkily. "As much as one can be having to save the world from their ex-boyfriend who probably needs to cut back on the cologne? Was he always that bad with it, back in the day? Cause let me tell you...ugh."

Spike lets out a surprised laugh.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

She stops at the nearest payphone and turns towards Spike.

"We didn't get a lot of time in there to talk. So this'll have to do." She tells him. "What did you want?"

"Me and Dru skip town and I'll help you with Angel."

She knew it'd be what he said but it still hurts her to hear it and she can only hope it doesn't show on her face. She lets out a breath, not seeing his calculating look at the look on her face.

"Fine." She finally says. "But I see her back in Sunnydale and-"

"I got it, Slayer." Spike says, holding up a hand.

"Good. You head back to the mansion then. Make sure Giles is alright. If he dies, no deal. Yeah?"

He gives her a look but nods shortly, taking off quickly. She lets out another breath, one hand trembling as it holds the phone, the other putting in change into the payphone.

"Oh no big deal, Buffy," She mutters. "Just run off the love of your life. No biggie."

She quickly fills in Willow and Xander-very thankful that nothing had changed in that regard, that Willow was still alright, as was Xander-about as much as she can.

"And Will?" She asks Willow, finally. To hear the voices of two of her family members (they were more than friends, they were her _family_ ; sister and brother both) had nearly stopped her breath when they first started speaking. Only the urgency of the matter had kept her upright.

"Yeah, Buffy?" Willow asks, softly, still sounding a bit weak, but determined.

"Go ahead with what you're thinking. If you think you can-then try and put Angel's soul back in there. But do _not_ if you're not up to it, okay?"

"How did you-"

"Because I know you." She says, a smile in her voice and on her face.

"Okay, I will. Buffy," Willow adds, before Buffy could continue. "Be safe."

"Count on it." She says softly, before putting the phone back on its receiver.

The smile is still on her face, her eyes determined, as she picks up the Sword and starts to head off. Right until-

"Buffy! I've been looking all over for you!"

She turns.

 _Mom._

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I hope you enjoyed this!

Let me know what you thought!

-PhoenixJustice


	2. Chapter 2

Becoming, Part Three

By: PhoenixJustice

Disclaimer: BTVS is owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and others who are not me. I only own this story and make no profit from this.

Warning: Rated M for graphic sexual content, language, violence, etc.

Pairing: Spike/Buffy Summers, etc.

Setting: In the middle of Becoming, Part Two; possible spoilers for the entire series (including comics.)

Summary: Well. They never said it'd be an _easy_ Reward.

A/N: Some lines taken from Becoming, Part Two.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The amount of years from her mother's death wash away with her seeing her mother breathing, _living_ , once more. Her mother affords her with a worried look and frown.

"The police showed up! What's going on? Are you okay?"

She swallows. She had stayed away from her house for this very reason, so she could avoid this conversation. She had hoped-if everything went well and didn't go to, well, literal Hell-that it could happen later. That they could sit down together and talk it over. No luck, it seemed.

"I'm fine. I just-"

"And they-is that...why do you have a sword?" Her mother asks bewilderingly.

She opens her mouth-for truth or lie, she isn't sure-but doesn't get a chance to answer as a vampire comes from some nearby bushes. She rolls her eyes as he lunges at her-he had to be one of the lackies Angelus still had and had sent after her-sidestepping him easily.

Even _before_ the lackey hadn't been an issue and with her added experience, it was child's play. A few playful kicks and a swing of her sword later, has the vampire's head falling off his shoulder, before turning to dust.

She turns to look back at her now astonished looking mother, shaking some dust from the sword.

"That was a vampire." She says calmly, to her mother's unspoken question. "Like I told you existed before, before you guys committed me."

Joyce flinches and it doesn't exactly give her satisfaction to see it, but it was still words that needed to be said...if only for her own piece of mind. Words that had never been able to be said until now.

"I'm not exactly blaming you. Not really. But it hurt to know that you didn't trust me. Those things? The fire in my old school? From stopping vampires. I'm the Slayer." She lets out a breath. "Maybe we can talk about these things later? I don't have the time right now."

She starts to turn away when her mother is finally roused from her shock.

"Have you tried _not_ being a Slayer? My baby can't..."

"I am, mom. It's not a job. It's apart of me. Who I am. It's not something I can just turn off."

"We didn't send you away because we thought you were crazy. We just wanted to help you. Buffy, this is _insane._ First the fire at your old school and now the police-"

Her mother grabs her arm and she wrenches away, heart filling with an old pain, mixed now with new ones.

"I didn't kill her." She hisses. "Do you really think so little of me that you think I could be capable of that?"

"Of course not!" Her mother's voice rises now. "But, Buffy you've got to come back with me so we can tell them that these-"

"That what?" Her voice gets higher now too, against her will. "They won't believe you, mom. And even if they did, I don't have time for that. I have to do what I always do and save the world. Again." She laughs tonelessly.

"This is insane. Buffy, come with me. We'll...we'll figure this out. Get some help. We-"

She turns again and starts to walk off.

"Buffy!"

"Stop!"

She continues to walk, even as the next words her mother speaks brings tears to her eyes.

"If you keep going, don't even _think_ about coming back!"

She goes. She has to.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

 _You can do this, Buffy._ She thinks, as she makes her way across a near silent Sunnydale up to the mansion. _You just have to stop your ex from turning the world into an unending Hell. Again. And let the love of your life run away with someone he is...thinks...is? in love with. Even I don't know anymore. Do you love me, Spike?_ _ **Could**_ _you love me? Just...let me. And I'll prove to you why I should be the one you're with, always._

She arrives, quietly, to the mansion itself. By the looks of it, Angel was close to opening himself up but he hadn't yet. A boon she hadn't expected. She makes her way stealthily up to Angelus' one remaining lackey and with one stroke of her sword-with Angelus whipping his head around at the sound-the lackey is a pile of dust.

She smiles. "Hi, honey. I'm home." Her eyes flicker to Spike, who was sitting in the wheelchair he hadn't needed for ages.

Angelus all but rolls his eyes at her. "I don't have time for you." He says boredly.

"Really?" She feigns hurt, eyes wide. "That's too bad! Cause you don't have a lot of time left. Figured we could catch up over coffee. Or knitting patterns or something."

She pouts, not seeing the surprised laugh that Spike has to fight to keep back.

"Coming on kind of strong, don't you think? You're playing some deep odds here. Do you really think you can take us all on?"

She laughs, which only intensifies when he gives her a fierce look. "No. I don't. You forgot something very important, Liam."

His glare ratches up a notch at her using his original name. "And what would that be, bitch?"

She smiles again.

"I'm not the only one who dislikes you." She says sweetly.

With that cue, Spike is up like lightning out of the wheelchair, hitting Angelus with a pipe before he can react. Angelus cries out, though seemingly more in surprise than pain, and they start to fight.

"I should'a known." Angelus hisses, more of his Irish brogue coming out in his anger. "Who knew the boy'd get some fuckin' balls for once an' go against me?"

"You're daft, mate," Spike grunts, as him and Angelus are in the midst of fighting. "I've been goin' against you since I first had the unlucky pleasure to bloody meet you."

A fast blur out of the corner of her eye catches her attention and she grabs onto the back of Drusilla's dress, pulling her towards her, before she can get to Angel and Spike. Drusilla shrieks and they too are soon pulled into a fight, with them both getting pulled down to the ground to continue their fighting.

"Oi! What the fuck, Slayer?"

"I-ugh, a little busy here!" She exclaims. She has to constantly move around to keep from getting bit by Drusilla, who had since went into game face and was now continually nipping at her, like a rabid dog. "Bad doggie! No cookie!"

A yell and a grunt later, Spike is sliding across the floor near to where they are. She looks up from where she is trying to keep Drusilla at a distance.

"I keep my promises, Spike." She says softly.

He looks at her, before glancing at Drusilla, then getting up, shaking himself off. He puts his posture in the cockiest thing imaginable, thumbs in his jeans, and Buffy loves him all the more for it. All that swagger, some of it real, some of it drudged up to keep people off guard, was all Spike and it was one of the things she loved about him.

He smirks at Angelus. "That all you got, Peaches?" He spits out some blood from his mouth. "Cause I can do this all night."

"Funny." Angelus says snidely. "Because that's what I tell Drusilla whenever I fuck her."

Spike lets out an inhuman growl and goes after Angelus again. Meanwhile Buffy manages to get some leverage, flipping Drusilla behind her, allowing her to get up. She has to tackle Drusilla's middle to keep her from getting to the other vampires.

"Ugh, can you just stop?" She yells at Drusilla, as she tries to get her under control.

"The Sun!" Drusilla finally hisses and Buffy's shocked to see tears in her eyes. "It makes the Knight shine brightly and takes away the Moon's-"

"I'm not taking Angel from you!" She grits out. "He's not mine. He hasn't been in a long time. More than that- _I don't want him."_

For the first time in minutes, Drusilla is something close to calm, though she is still in her vampire visage. "I need my Daddy."

Something in her aches for Drusilla. Jealous of Spike's love and attentions for Drusilla aside, Drusilla had been dealt a terrible hand in life the moment that Angelus had gotten wind of her. He had broken her, in ways that Buffy could still only scarcely guess at. She wasn't all there, to say the least. Still, she had given Buffy the greatest gift, in having sired Spike. Even if he wasn't meant to be with her, here, now, he was still _here_ and she could only be happy with that.

"I have to stop him." She whispers, near Drusilla's head. She strokes her hair, which seems to calm her down even more. "But he's important to the Powers That Be. You know that, right? You have to. If I stop him, before his soul is returned, he'll be back. I promise you."

Drusilla stops fighting and the visage falls away from her. She looks up at Buffy, stroking her face, and Buffy is startled when Drusilla wipes away tears from her face that she hadn't even been aware had been shedding.

"The Knight," Drusilla whispers. "Tarnished but still beautiful."

"Yes," Buffy says, tears falling freely now. She didn't have to hear Spike's name to know that was who she was referring to. "He is, isn't he?"

A sound from behind them catches her attention and she starts to get up. Drusilla lies there, looking at her sedately. She grabs the sword that had been flung from her by fighting with Drusilla and makes her way forward-only to get pushed back in surprise as Spike gets thrown into her. She makes an oof sound, looking at Spike.

"Are you okay?" She asks, before she can stop herself.

He gives her a look, face already starting to bruise (if he didn't get some blood soon, he'd be dealing with a hell of a shiner), all bloodied and he smirks at her.

"Just peachy, Slayer." He grunts. "Give me a hand?"

"Absolutely."

"Right then." He moves away from her and she already misses the contact.

Angelus stands near Acathla, like a hound from hell, eyes flashing with menace as she and Spike start to approach.

"Running with your legs open to any who'll have you, bitch?" Angelus sneers. "Should have figured; trash deserves trash."

She stiffens. Had her feelings for Spike been that obvious?

"Oh is that why you were attached at the hip to Darla?" She fires back, approaching from the left to Spike's right. "Cause seriously? I'm pretty sure she whored it up so much that she _created_ new diseases. And you know, Spike might be many things-"

"Oi!"

"-but even _he_ wasn't that desperate to touch her." This she knew with certainty, as been told to her _by_ Spike. He had slept with Drusilla (of course) and had even slept with Angelus many a time, but he had never slept with Darla. She had always kept him at arms length. And while Darla _did_ have many lovers-and often she and Angelus shared them together-she never slept with Spike nor shared him with anyone. "Skank-itis is contageous, after all." 

Angelus' face darkens and she knows she's struck a nerve. Darla and Angel's relationship had always been a stormy one, but Buffy had never doubted they loved one another...or as close to love as both had been willing to admit to themselves.

"I'm going to kill you slow, whore. I'm going to rip you apart." Angelus smiles and Buffy can't help but feel a shot of fear in her. He reminded her why he had been the Scourge of Europe for decade upon decade. "Slowly, piece by piece. Don't want to make it _too_ quick, now do we?" He steps forward and she puts up her chin. She was once more reminded why Angelus was one of the most difficult beings she had ever faced. "And maybe after it's all said and done I'll fuck whatever is leftover."

She holds back a shiver with great difficulty and hurriedly turns to Spike, speaking so quickly and softly that even Spike, with her being next to his ear would have to strain to hear it.

"Don't let him bleed on Acathla. If he does, it's game over." She whispers. "I'll do whatever I can to let you and Drusilla get out of here, okay? I promise."

He glances at her and she cannot decipher the look in his eyes. As if they're one being, they rush Angelus at the same time, a hearty battle cry ripping from both their throats. It's brutal, the fighting, and she also wants to weep with it. This Spike, of this time, had never once worked _with_ her but here they were-a kick from Spike that led into her swinging the sword against Angelus' sword, her kicking at Angelus' front that led to Spike giving him a blow to the back, as he couldn't block both of them at once.

It was... _perfect._ And she could only wonder if Spike was as astonished as she was.

They were a vehicle of mayhem and badassery and all she can do is _laugh_. Her eyes are full of light and wonder-even in this dark time-as they catch Spike's and he stares at her. In that moment, it feels like time stops. That everything stops. That everything that is not William Pratt and Buffy Summers does not exist. It is them, and only them, in the world.

 _I love you._

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

It feels like it's _working_ , in a way that it hadn't the first time around and she has a moment to think that maybe they'll do this, her and Spike, and keep Angelus occupied enough for Willow to put his soul back in place, without him getting taken out like before.

And then it all goes sideways.

She had made the mistake of letting up, even for just a moment, and with Angelus that was something you could never do. He was the poster boy for Evil and his mind was one of the most dangerous she had ever come across. He uses her very slight moment of hesitation in thought to knock her aside with a heavy blow that sends her-and the sword in her hand-sailing. She watches as the sword flies past Angelus-but not before nicking him across the cheek and throat.

The dread she feels doesn't let up, even when she sees Xander hurrying by with an almost knocked out Giles. At least Giles was safe. For now.

Her eyes widen as Angelus looks down where his blood is dripping and he smiles a devious smile, finger dipping into the wound on his throat. He had obviously realized what the activation of Acathla actually was.

"Stop him!" She screams at Spike.

She is already trying to scramble up when Spike goes after Angelus, but with it being one on one it's a much more even fight and Angelus manages one fierce kick to send Spike back...just enough so he can touch his bloody hand to Acathla.

A large rumbling happens and her eyes close briefly, before heading over to Spike, helping him up. Angelus is almost raptured by Acathla, watching Him/It intently which leaves her time to look at Spike. He looks at her.

"I'll stop him." She tells him, tears falling from her face, and she sees his eyes widening. "Take Drusilla and go-as far from here as you can. Even if...at least you'll be with the person you love, right?"

"Come Acathla!" Angelus says in a booming, joyous, voice, arms outstretched. "And deliver onto these ignorant fools the absolute Hell on Earth!"

"Slayer-" Spike starts.

"Just go!" She urges. Her eyes soften and she swallows against a tidal wave of emotion. "Please."

"Why? If we both take him, we-"

She does it without thinking, but really, it was inevitable. She grasps his duster, pulling him close so she can kiss him. She tastes him and for this moment, even if it was only one moment, she had him. She was _his_ and once more she knew what it was like to be a whole person.

She pulls back from him and he looks at her in astonishment.

" _Go."_ She repeats.

The hardest thing for her is not what's to come, but in watching Spike move beside her, walking away. She can hear him pick up Drusilla, walking off quickly. She lets out a breath, taking steps forward. She picks up the fallen sword and is prepared to once more send someone she cares about to Hell.

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The DeSoto is chugging along as quick as he can take it, sailing down the roads, and the _Welcome to Sunnydale!_ sign is behind them moments later. His mind was in a lot of places and all of them were currently focused on the Slayer.

What had that been then? Her actions and her words had thrown him off to the umpth degree. All too easily he can picture her large green eyes looking at him with an emotion he doesn't dare name, can picture the taste of salt from her tears as she puts her mouth over his.

She had kissed him.

The Slayer whom had been so in love with Angelus that it had ripped the vampire's soul from his body, in that 'one perfect moment of happiness'. The Slayer whom had been at odds with him the moment he had spoken to her. The Slayer whom he had watched from the shadows, the Slayer whom he had fought with and finally found an equal. Neither of the other Slayers, as good as they had been, had been like her. The Slayer whom-

He doesn't realize he's been tapping his fingers in an anxious pattern on his pant leg until Dru stops the tapping, placing her hand over his. He glances over at her. She had been silent the entire time, going with him willingly into the car (which he hadn't expected.)

"Spike." Drusilla finally says, softly.

If he had breath, it would have caught then. Something was...different. He felt it. He just didn't know what it was.

"Don't." He says hoarsely. If she spoke...everything would change.

"It's already changed, Spike." Drusilla says. She looks at him with one of her rare bouts of true lucidity. She smiles. It had been a long time since he had seen a sincere, lucid, smile from her and it was lovely. She moves her hand to gently stroke his face. "The sun can't survive on its own. It needs its Knight to stand with it."

"Dru-"

"Shh." She puts a finger to his lips, eyes wide, as if scolding him. "None of that now."

"What did she tell you?" He whispers against her finger.

Her eyes turn from his now though.

"Stop here, Spike." She says, using her free hand to point to where a bus station was, with a bus stop in front of it. With its shape, it was covered from any potential direct sunlight filtering in.

"Dru-" He starts again, but she shakes her head in the negative. He sighs and stops the car directly next to the bus stop. It was still dark out but who knew how long the sodding bus took? If she... He stops his train of thought, turning back to look at her. She had removed her hands and was a picture of calm. He swallows hard. He had thought of her going away from him, just like that. And it hurt, but not like it should have.

She strokes his head briefly like she would sometimes do, when she was more lucid and aware, and his eyes close with pleasure.

"You already know, Spike."

He shudders. All he can feel is _need_ and it's overwhelming to him. The need to go to _her._ It swam all around him, swam in his blood. He had to-

"Go." Drusilla says gently. She touches his face, smiling. "Goodbye for now, Spike."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The fight had been going on for longer than she liked. She was running out of time.

"You got it, bitch?" Angelus says, tauntingly. "Just stay still and let me kill you. Or maybe I'll hold you in place, fucking you while Acathla sends everything into oblivio-"

He jerks and her eyes widen when she sees him shaking his head in sudden confusion and her heart aches for him. Angel had gotten his soul put back. He was himself again.

"B-Buffy?" Angel whispers.

Her eyes close briefly. _Give me strength._

"Forgive me, Angel." She whispers. Striking him with the sword, impaling him deeply into Acathla.

And once more, like the first time, he's taken away, Acathla gone with him, leaving nothing but empty space and and an empty void in Buffy's heart.

He was gone.

He was _gone._

And maybe it was wrong, but it wasn't Angel at all she was thinking of, but Spike.

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I hope you enjoyed this!

Let me know what you thought!

-PhoenixJustice


	3. Chapter 3

Becoming, Part Three

By: PhoenixJustice

Disclaimer: BTVS is owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and others who are not me. I only own this story and make no profit from this.

Warning: Rated M for graphic sexual content, language, violence, etc.

Pairing: Spike/Buffy Summers, etc.

Setting: In the middle of Becoming, Part Two; possible spoilers for the entire series (including comics.)

Summary: Well. They never said it'd be an _easy_ Reward.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The quaking that had been going intermittently as he had been leaving Sunnydale had come to a complete stop by the time he gets back to the Mansion. He makes his steps carefully, more so for what he might find inside than the slowly lightening of the sky. He heads inside and the first thing his keen nose smells is salt. Tears. He hears it too, clearly.

The Slayer was crying.

He feels something in him pull at that. The parts in him that had never left when he had been turned immediately become pained at seeing her hurt. The other thought-the surprising thought, that isn't all too surprising after all-is the jealousy he feels. She was _his-_

Abruptly she looks up from the crouch she is in, face streaming with tears. But even he still finds her beautiful. He's stock still with that thought, that ultimate _truth,_ until she is on her feet, looking at him as if he were a mirage.

He's to her, gathering her in his arms, before either of them can really register it.

"Don't, luv." He says softly, a hand moving gently over her face. "Don't cry."

But if anything, being in his arms only seems to make her cry harder. She looks up at him with tear stained eyes and all he can think is _beautiful._

"I know." He swallows, against a conflicting wave of emotions in him. "That you cared about Angel."

She looks at him, shaking her head. "I did. But that's not why I'm..." She looks away. "Why are you here, Spike?"

 _For you._

The thought comes immediately to his head, unbidden.

"I'm-" She licks her lips, eyes looking like they were ready to tell a great secret. "I wasn't crying over Angel." She shrugs helplessly, looking small and fragile in his arms, despite her strength. "I was crying over you."

He looks at her, baffled. "Why?"

"Because I love you, you dolt." Her face wrenches in pain now. "And I didn't want you to leave. But I-I had to, you see?" She cups the side of his face. "I couldn't risk you. Not for anything."

He stares at her.

She was Death Incarnate to all things that go bump in the night, including his own kind, including _him_ and here she was...she _was._ He knew she wasn't lying to him; she had no reason to. She honed her craft in darkness and light, in destroying anything Unclean, in anything Evil. Yet she...

"Say it again, Slayer?" He murmurs, moving his mouth against her hand.

She smiles and it's like seeing the sun.

"I love you, Spike."

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He doesn't say anything more to her as they get to his car-and it's just as old and battered and wonderful as she remembers, junk filled and all. But he doesn't look at her with anger or disgust or anything of the sort after her admission to him. Instead he had looked at her expectantly, jerking his head to leave.

She gets into the car and has a moment to marvel at it, touching the dashboard with a bit of fondness. She had seen very little of the car in her past (she had kept Spike at arms length for so long that by the time she had gotten the stick out of her ass and _admitted_ her love for him, it had been far too late to do anything in it, as Sunnydale had become a smoking crater by then.)

She jumps a bit when she catches him looking at her, flushing. He chuckles, which only makes her flush more. The doors close with a loud clang and the DeSoto starts up with a bit of a put puttering sound. She can't see outside-the only bit of window that wasn't covered in black paint to keep the sunlight out was in front of Spike, but she could tell from the slow lightening as they moved that it wouldn't be too long until sunrise.

"A bit early," Spike finally says. "But I doubt your mum'd be up just yet."

"You're...wait. You're taking me home?" She asks, disappointedly.

"Yeah?" He says, a bit confused.

"But I thought..." She turns away, feeling humilated all of a sudden. She had all but threw herself at him, tears and all-so relieved to see him again, to see him _alive-_ she had thought he was reciprocating, at least a little.

She jumps when she feels his cool hand grab hers. She turns, but he's looking determinedly at the road.

"Didn't mean it that way, pet." He says, squeezing her hand a bit. "Just meant I figured you'd want to check up on your mum, near end of the world and all that. Get some sleep."

"She doesn't want to see me right now." She's the one to look ahead now, as she feels Spike's eyes on her, despite not being able to see through the black paint. "She knows who I am now-found out earlier-and she didn't like it." _Again._

"She didn't know before?" This time around his tone wasn't quite as disbelieving, but was still surprised.

She shakes her head in the negative. "No. Not really. Because I-stupidly-thought it'd keep her safe. When really, I should have told her when we got here. But I..." Old pain flares up in her and she speaks a truth to Spike that she hadn't told to anyone, even the others. None of them had known about this episode in her life, pre-Sunnydale. "I didn't want her to not believe me again, like the first time I told her vampires and demons existed. Her and dad had me committed."

His grip tightens on her and she continues. "It wasn't for long, but...it messed me up for a bit, you know? I couldn't tell her after that. So I kept mum about it, until earlier when she found me. Took out a vampire that tried to attack me-pretty sure it was one of Angelus' last lackies-and told her what I am."

"She didn't like it?"

"No." She hunches a bit in her seat. "I get some of it's from the shock-hopefully all of it-but still...staying there's a no go right now. And I really don't want to go back to the Mansion...too many memories, you know?"

"Could bunk down at a hotel for a bit." He says, once more looking back at the road. If vampires could blush, she'd have thought he was... He gives her a quick glance before looking away again. "Might want to grab a couple things from your house though. Or do you want me to get you some things?"

The thought of going home hurt, but it'd also be useful. And it wouldn't be for long.

"You'd get me things?" She has a smile playing on her lips. "Not sure if stealing clothes is a way to a girl's heart, but..." He looks at her. "I'd give it a try?" She offers.

He barks out a laugh, surprised. He smiles at her, making her heart thump in triple overtime. He moves his hand from hers to briefly touch her face.

"If you want it, Slayer." He tells her.

"Buffy." She says. She looks at him with large eyes. The tears were now long gone.

"Buffy, then." He pauses for a moment, taking all of that in. "Buffy."

Her smile widens.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

They end up at the front of her house anyway. It was convienient and had things there she didn't want to leave behind, even if only for a short time. She's nearly out of the car when she feels his hand touch her back. She freezes at the touch, heart thudding. It really wasn't fair; all he had to do was touch her, even slightly, and she felt like she'd melt into soupy puddle Buffy.

She turns slightly. He looks at her with worried eyes he can't hide. She smiles, touching his hand briefly.

"I'll be alright. Just going in there real quick. I'll be right back." _You'll still be here, won't you? This isn't some dream I cooked up right? It feels too real to be a dream._ _ **You**_ _feel too real. Even if it_ _ **is**_ _a dream, that's okay. Just let me sleep forever with you._

"I'll be here waiting." He assures her.

She nods, relaxing and exits, closing the door and making her way hurriedly to her front door. The door opens moments later, thanks to her key that somehow hadn't gotten lost from her pockets in the ensuing fight with Angelus. It's quiet and as she makes her way up the stairs, she hears no censure from her mother, leaving her to realize that she must be asleep. A look at the slightly open door of her mother's room confirms this and she makes her way carefully to her room, but not _too_ quietly as her mother wasn't a light sleeper.

She pauses for a moment as she enters her bedroom. It was a little surreal seeing everything again. It both felt like an eternity since and just yesterday at the same time. It was a weird feeling, giving her a bit of a lump in her throat when she notices certain items that she held more attachment too, like Mr. Gordo and Mr. Pointy.

She shakes it off as best as she can, grabbing a few different things, including a few sets of clothes. It's only when she's done, getting back to the front door, that she has to stop for a moment, eyes closing, shaking a bit with emotion, before letting out a breath, opening her eyes and walking out the door.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

She throws her bags in the back seat and piles back into the front seat, letting out a breath as she places her head against the headrest. Spike takes off without another word and she's grateful to him for that. There's nothing but the sounds of the car, and her own breathing, for a few minutes, letting her work through some of the emotions she was feeling, which she is grateful for.

It isn't until they come to a stop that she opens her eyes, giving Spike a questioningly look. He shrugs a bit.

"Not exactly the Ritz, but it'll do, I think. At least for a bit." He eyes her. "Give us a mo'."

She shakes her head, grabbing his wrist as he starts to put up his duster to protect him from the slight sunlight that was out.

"No, let me go." She loved Spike with everything she was, but as he was now, he was still...not good? "Plus? If you fried, I'd be pretty mad at you."

He raises a brow. "That right?" He drawls. He seemed to understand what she was saying without her actually saying it, but he doesn't seem to take any real offense to it. He shrugs and puts his duster back down. She looks at him waitingly and he huffs a bit, reaching into his pockets. "Can't I just-"

" _No."_ She tells him firmly. At his look she shrugs in return. "If it turns out he's like a gigantic skeezebag that's done a lot of evil things or something, then feel free to have a snack." Her friends would have just about died from shock hearing her talk like that. Spike, too, seemed genuinely surprised at her words. "But no killing, alright? Not...innocent people."

She bites her lip. She hadn't meant to make any sort of ultimatums just yet (in fact, she wasn't sure just _exactly_ she was going to say or do now. This was all unfamiliar territory to her and she was having to find her footing again. After being away from Sunnydale so long, after losing Spike, coming back during the time she did...it was pretty overwhelming, if she had to be honest with herself. Still, to be in a world where Spike existed at the same time she did? That was worth _everything_ to her.)

He snorts, looking away. Still, he hands over some money, which she takes gratefully. Before she can lose her nerve, she darts forward, kissing his cool cheek. "I'll be right back."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

His cheek is still tingling from her kiss after she leaves. He can see her passing by the front of the car to the office, her heart a quick little thump thump in her chest. The place had all the looks of a rundown motel on the outskirts of town, with some weeds here and there in the sparce patches of grass surrounding the place. It had a front building that was just one floor, an unlit sign letting everyone know it was the _Sunset Motel_ , with a two story building in the back.

He grabs the steering wheel with both hands, placing his forehead against it. What was he doing? How did everything shift on its axis so suddenly? Mere hours before, he had been determined to kill Angelus and take off with Dru to-well, anywhere that wasn't Ol' Sunnyhell. He had seen a lot of defeat and pain in this place and he didn't like to be constantly reminded of his failures. Especially so after Peaches had made his grand return and Spike once more had felt like secondhand. He couldn't compare to Angelus in Drusilla's eyes; never had.

All the Slayer's fault...or so he had wanted to blame on her slight shoulders. If she hadn't slept with Angel and given him a happy, then Angelus wouldn't have come back to ruin things. But then? Even _he_ had to admit, at least now, to himself, that it wasn't all her fault. She hadn't known something like that would make Angelus rear his ugly forehead back up into the world. But he had wanted something to blame and being Spike's, well, _mortal enemy,_ it hadn't been a hard thing to blame it all on her.

Still, Spike was many things, but stupid was not one of them. And he knew he'd need help if he was to take out Angelus; the sodding poofter had too many things at his disposal, and even with the hint of surprise in Spike being able to walk about again, he wouldn't be able to deal with him on the own.

He had needed the Slayer.

He just hadn't expected, going to her, just how much that would actually now mean.

He had come with the intent to get help against Angelus. He knew she needed the help too. And enemy of my enemy and all that rot worked in Spike's favor; he'd be able to get him and Dru a Get Out of Sunnydale free card and he wouldn't have to think of the spunky Slayer with her bobbing hair and fierce eyes. Wouldn't have to think how good it felt to fight against her, wouldn't have to ignore the curl of fire in his belly, his cock, when they fought, when they had banter against one another.

But then she looked at him, like he was oxygen and she had been deprived of it her whole life. In the whole of his existence, he had had never been looked at in that way, but had always, _always,_ longed for it from those he had loved-or those (when forced to admit it) he had _thought_ he had loved. Cecily, even Drusilla. He had longed for love, yearned for it, needed it, for what seemed like his entire life, but it had always been out of his reach. Even his mother, whom he had cared for in her sickness, and before when his father had died, had kept him at a distance in ways. He had royally fucked up in Siring her.

Too young in vampirism, too naive yet from his years in humanity, he had thought it the ultimate solution to save her. He _had_ saved her, in the end, from herself. But he had still failed her. Yet another reminder that his feelings of love, familial or, in the cases of those like Cecily and Drusilla, romantic were constant failures. He had idealized Cecily in his head, to be something that she obviously hadn't been. Still, that failure had led to what was-until now-the absolutely greatest change in his life, when his heartbreak had led him into the dark embrace of one of the night.

Cecily had destroyed William. Dru had brought new life to William. But Buffy-

His throat clenches. It felt overwhelming, this feeling, already.

She loved him.

He had no doubt of that. Her words, her new actions towards him...the Slayer wasn't that great an actor, at least to Spike. He knew her well. In the ways that mattered already. At first, seeing her sit there with her tears, his chest clenched with emotion, halfway wondering if his heart was beating at the sight of her there. But those tears hadn't been, however miraculous, for Angel at all, but for _him._

The want? He could understand that. During the times when he hadn't been eternally cursing her name, he admitted to himself that he wanted her. Her paradoxally innocent yet mature eyes-seemingly greater in both now, these last couple of hours-her petite body that belied the fact that she was stronger than almost anyone on the planet, save those who somehow managed to match her strength (like Spike.)

But beyond that? It was then that he had been forced to realize something in greater terms than that. That he admired her for her strength, her mental strength, even when dealing with things that would cripple a normal person. The fact that she had gotten through the things Angelus had did in the way she had was something to be admired. He knew, better than near anyone, just how evil (and that was a term that he, who still considered himself to be the Big Bad, certainly didn't use lightly) Angelus was.

Admired her quick wit and underlying smartness (while he, and others, may have made fun of her Valley Girl tendencies, she often merely used that as a smokescreen to hide the fact of how smart she was. She had to be, to have survived as many things as she had and come out the victor.) Admired her loyalty to her friends, those whom she considered family. Spike's family were many things, but loyalty was not really one of those things. They had stuck together out of necessity, but certainly not out of loyalty.

Buffy didn't give up on anyone she cared about. Sometimes to her detriment, but it was also something to be admired. He hadn't known anyone like that, except for himself. Angelus caring for him in a meaningful way outside of when he had needed muscle or a fuck (when Darla didn't want it or Dru had taken off like she sometimes would) was laughable, as was Darla. She had never liked him; had looked at Angelus with disdain when he sometimes offered throwing Spike in bed with them.

And Dru? He had loved her in the only way he had known how. Had been by her side for a hundred years, despite her often neglectful treatment of him (most of it not her fault, but Angelus', after he had broken her mind and spirit before turning her) but she, even in her most lucid states, never loved him in the ways he needed. Sometimes he'd resent her for it, for leaving him in a half living state of unfullment-then he'd beat himself up over thinking it (however true it might be.)

Buffy loved him. It was strange, it was miraculous, it was something that probably shouldn't be-a Slayer falling in love with a vampire, something she was supposed to slay without question-but it...gave him hope.

She loved him.

All he had ever wanted was for someone to love him, properly love him, and in return be able to reciprocate that love.

In facing her own feelings for him, it made him realize his own for _her_ in return. The exact moment those feelings blossomed in him, he had no idea. He only knew that it was as real as hers.

It was mystifying, a bit scary...and felt like it could also be the most important thing that had ever happened to him.

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I hope you enjoyed this!

Let me know what you thought!

-PhoenixJustice


	4. Chapter 4

Becoming, Part Three

By: PhoenixJustice

Disclaimer: BTVS is owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and others who are not me. I only own this story and make no profit from this.

Warning: Rated M for graphic sexual content, language, violence, etc.

Pairing: Spike/Buffy Summers, etc.

Setting: In the middle of Becoming, Part Two; possible spoilers for the entire series (including comics.)

Summary: Well. They never said it'd be an _easy_ Reward.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The waft of artificial air hits her nose and skin when she opens the door leading to the front desk (even this early, it could still get hot pretty quickly. Plus the hotels and motels wanted to keep potential customers happy, which led them to come back again-even to skeezy places like this one) and she makes her way with nimble steps up to the counter, frowning when she doesn't see anybody.

Sure, it was out of the way, but you think they'd leave someone up front-unless this was one of those places that had the owner staying in a room behind the front desk or something (as some low priced motels sometimes did, especially ones on the outskirts of town.)

She hadn't ever come to this motel in her original time, hadn't ever needed a reason to. Now? Despite it's obvious low priced look about it, from the little she had seen of the place yet, she still can't help but feel a tingle of excitement shoot through her at the possibilities.

Spike was near; the tinglies on the back of her neck let her know he was still in the car, waiting on her. The mere thought of his presense-and what might happen next-leaves her skin feeling heated, her body hot at the mere thought of it.

She felt bad about the fact that she didn't feel as bad as she did about Angel and what had happened with him. She would always love Angel, but she was not in love with him. And she had truly lost the love of her entire life, Spike, so to be able to be around him now and be _with_ him now...she would not give that up for anyone or anything, no matter who it was, no matter the consequence.

She waits another few moments before getting impatient, hitting the metal bell on the counter a few times (careful not to hit it _too_ hard, as last thing she needed was to have to pay for a bell after hitting it into a pile of scrap.) Finally, she hears some grunting behind a door that stood behind the front desk (so she was right?) and a man pops out. He was short, balding, complete with wife beater, shorts, and beer gut to complete the cliched package.

He barely glances her way as he grabs a clipboard from under the desk, placing it on the table.

"Name here and how long you'll be staying for." The man says boredly, absently scratching at his side. "Also, need the money up front, you understand."

Oh. She wasn't sure how long they were staying for. Before she can decide between writing something down or going to see what Spike wanted to do, the man speaks again.

"If you're not sure about any more days, you can just pick the one day for now and then pay for more days after if you change your mind."

"Oh, okay." She says, relieved. "Sounds good."

She stares down at the clipboard for a moment, before biting her lip, and writing down the names _Buffy and William Pratt._ There. She did it. And it's not like Spike'd see it anyhow. No, just her. Just her and this man who seemed to have reminants of Fritos on his shoulder.

She pays the man and nearly taps her foot in impatience (not at the time the man was taking, because he wasn't being slow, to be fair, but in her impatience at wanting to see _her_ man, that was still waiting in his car) before he hands over her change and a key. One of the old fashioned kind, with one of those green keychain thingies with a room number on it, that held the key.

She exits out the way she came, with a quick thanks to the clerk-owner guy and makes her way back to the car. She moves to stand in front of the windshield that held the one small spot that wasn't caked with black paint and smiles, jingling the key in her hand.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Her heart is beating a mile a minute in her chest. Nervousness? Excitement? Fear? All of the above? He almost thought he'd be able to hear it even _without_ his extraordinary hearing.

"Front give you any trouble?" He asks, holding back a grin with difficulty as she visibly jumps, looking at him with slightly wide eyes.

"Huh?" She asks. The wide eyed look on her face was incredibly _cute_ and he has to hold himself back from snogging her senseless then and there.

"Did the front desk give you any trouble?" He repeats, patiently, all too amused.

"Oh! Uh, no." For some reason she turns an adorable shade of red, turning away from him and walking determinedly forward. "Gotta say...never been here before." She glances at him briefly before looking forward again.

"Me either." He knew on a fundamental level that the great poof Angelus would never have dirtied himself to come to a place like this (he liked his luxury, hence the mansion. Spike had more than once thought about making a comparison to Big Things trying to make up for Body Parts That...Lacked. Hadn't, as he had still been in the wheelchair, but had thought about doing so.)

He _knew_ that Angelus, Angel or whatever the fuck else he wanted to call himself (anything to get away from the burden of your deeds, eh Peaches?) would never have brought Buffy here. Would have considered it much too lowbrow. Still, he can't help but feel relief at her admission. He was already feeling a level of jealousy he hadn't expected to.

"You either? What, Drusilla not the type to like creased bed linens?"

He pauses, but relaxes when he hears the teasing tone in her voice.

He smirks. "No. I don't really care, but," He shrugs, even though she isn't looking. "she had the touch of her sire, in liking the finer things. Not for me." He had had his fill of the finer things in life, when he had still been a human, and that hadn't turned out well for him. Perhaps that was why it had left such a sour note in his mouth and not merely because of Angelus.

"I'm sure." Her tone was neutral which puzzles him before he lets it go.

They were still feeling each other out, after all. _That_ thought gives him pause. Touch...

She had told him she loved him, and he believed that, but did that equate to wanting something more intimate _now?_ She _had_ just lost her first love, after all (even if she didn't seem too bothered by it. But maybe that was mostly for his sake, to keep him from worrying.)

They finally get to the room and there is a palpable energy between them. The Slayer's hand shakes, just slightly, as it works the key into the door, giving it a quick turn and opening it up. It wasn't the most flattering of rooms, but standing there with the woman he loved, who in turned loved him, made it seem like Paradise.

He swallows hard. Love... He couldn't deny that. And-in looking at her now, all nerves and happiness and _need_ -he knew he had no reason to. He gathers his courage, moving to cup her cheek. She takes a deep intake of breath, looking up at him. That look...that was a look that a person would do _anything_ to be worthy of, to be on the other end of that love and devotion.

She looked at him like he was _everything_ to her.

Which in turn made his feelings all the more clear; because he was quickly becoming certain that it was the same for _him._

"Spike?" She breathes.

"Only if you want it, Slayer." He murmurs, thumb moving gently over her cheek.

"Yes." She says softly.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The instant the door closes, they're locked together in an embrace, kissing each other with a furious passion that threatens to turn her to dust as much as it does Spike. His mouth is wet and cool and the contrast of that on her hot skin leaves her moaning into his mouth. He wasn't wrong, his future self, when he had said he had been the best she had ever had.

And for someone who hadn't had a soul for a long time before and after he had met her, he sure knew how to _kiss_ with soul. The same as now. This was both old territory to her and also so very, very new. It was a fresh start with Spike and she loved that. She didn't want to be stuck in the mindset of her past and see a Spike that did not exist anymore. She knew that Spike wouldn't have wanted that. He had always said he just wanted her to be happy.

She'd take that now, _with_ Spike. She'd remember what led her to this point in time, this moment, but she would make sure not to dwell on it. Her eyes were looking at _this_ Spike, looking at the hunger in his gaze as he pulls back so she can get some air, sees his hungry stare rove over her body and she feels her body tingle in anticipation.

He pulls her close again, leaning down to kiss her even harder. She kisses back just as hard, moving with a small jump to wrap her legs around his middle. The thought of her first experience with Spike in a wrecked house comes and goes quickly and she looks down at Spike who looks at her in a combination of awe and pure _lust,_ sending shivers down her spine.

"Minx." He growls, nipping at her bottom lip before moving his mouth down, trailing down her neck.

She moans in appreciation, arms tightening around him, moving her head up to give him better access to her neck. She feels his pause and understands it immediately. For a vampire, the neck had many different meanings (certainly much more than just _food,_ which had taken her an embarassingly long time to learn the first time around) and to give up your neck could mean many things. Sometimes it was supplication, of submission.

But her being a Slayer negated that right away, which led to the second option, which was _connection._ There was a reason why people were bitten on the neck when being made into vampires, instead of other areas. It signified intimacy (sometimes only lust, as in the case of those like Angelus who did not love those whom they had sired), which didn't only mean between vampire and vampire-where they'd each offer their necks to one another out of love and devotion-but between vampire and whomever they were with, whoever they loved or loved them.

Claiming was not a real concept, in terms of metaphysics, so this was the closest thing to that. This was an affirmation of your love, pledging your heart and your everything to someone.

He buries his face in the crook of her neck suddenly, body shaking, and she can feel, more than smell, the tears that were coming from his beautiful eyes. He had always felt so, _so,_ much (even when she had been cruel enough in the past to call him an unfeeling _thing)_ and she loved that about him. Soul or no soul, he knew how to love. He loved with everything that made up William Pratt. With everything that made up Spike. With everything that made up that bridge inbetween.

"Buffy." He finally says, voice choked with emotion. "Pet, you don't know what you're-"

"But I do." She says softly. She strokes his head tenderly until he finally looks up at her, eyes shining with as of yet unshed tears. "My neck isn't clean," referring to the Master's bite. It was the only bite that marred her now, as the bites from Angel and Dracula hadn't taken place yet (and now certainly wouldn't) "But it is yours. _All_ of me is yours. 'My neck your Chalice-'"

"'My heart eternally bound to yours.'" Spike finishes, hoarsely. He looks at her. "How do you know that, pet?"

"I-"

But Spike shakes his head. "Doesn't matter. Not now." His eyes shine as they look at her. He licks his lips before speaking again. "I-wanted that, with Dru. But she always denied me. She allowed me to drink from her and she drank from me, but it was never..."

"I'm sorry." She kisses the space between his brows.

"Do you mean it?" The innocence in his tone and face, despite Spike's nature and general amorality, breaks her heart. No matter what he had said and done, he was still the gentle soul who only wanted to be loved and love that person in return, eternally.

"There's nothing else I mean more. Well," She amends with a smile. "except for the fact that I love you. I mean that just as much." Because she did. It didn't matter that it had technically only been a short while with him, here, in this time. Time didn't matter; feelings did. And she knew with certainty that she loved him already, that she wasn't looking at a shadow of her past, wondering what could have been.

He clutches her closer, like she is his lifeline. "I love you, Buffy."

Her heart feels like it stops, before it beats into triple overtime. She can feel the tears move down her own face now and she holds him as tightly as he holds her and she laughs through the tears, relieved laughter as she hugs him close.

He _did_ love her. It didn't matter _when_ it had been, just that he loved her.

"My neck your Chalice, my heart eternally bound to yours." She says, smiling through her tears, full of emotion as he looks at her like she is his sun.

"My neck your Chalice, my heart-" He stops, shivering. Not from not wanting her, but from fear-she can tell-that she didn't want _him._ He had longed for true love all his life, but he didn't seem to expect to actually _have_ it. He looks up at her, eyes showing her all the love he had been keeping at bay, making her melt with it. "My heart eternally bound to yours."

He seals it with a kiss to her throat, kissing it tenderly. She moves her mouth to kiss his throat softly.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"It's okay," She tells him as he looms over her, worry in his eyes that he can't hide. "You won't break me, Spike. And," She strokes his arms, letting him freely see all the love she had for him. "I won't break _you._ I promise."

He leans his head down against her naked breasts, shuddering. "I love you, Buffy."

Her heart swells with love for him. "I love you too, baby."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

They lie together now and he can feel the steady thumping of her heart as she sleeps, leaning down to kiss her throat reverently, having to blink back the tears that form in his eyes at the flood of emotions that threaten to overtake him.

She was his.

And just as importantly, he was _hers._ Acceptance had been something he had fought for his entire life (both as a human and as a vampire) to gain. To have someone not simply tolerate him (like Darla), nor to want to just fuck him when the mood struck (like Angelus), or someone who couldn't love him because they were broken or because he couldn't be what they truly wanted (like Drusilla.)

Buffy had accepted him. As much as he had pledged his devotion and love to her, so too did she in return.

He kisses her shoulder now, pausing as she makes a small sound in her throat, continuing to kiss up until he reaches her slightly puckered lips, kissing them softly.

She tasted like sunshine.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I hope you enjoyed this!

Let me know what you thought!

-PhoenixJustice


	5. Chapter 5

Becoming, Part Three

By: PhoenixJustice

Disclaimer: BTVS is owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and others who are not me. I only own this story and make no profit from this.

Warning: Rated M for graphic sexual content, language, violence, etc.

Pairing: Spike/Buffy Summers, etc.

Setting: In the middle of Becoming, Part Two; possible spoilers for the entire series (including comics.)

Summary: Well. They never said it'd be an _easy_ Reward.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

She finally stirs, feeling the pressing need for something to wet her parched throat; she had done quite a lot of screaming and moaning, almost embarassingly so, (she hoped there wasn't anyone in the rooms on either side of them) so it was no wonder.

It takes a bit of wiggling, as he had a good grip on her even in sleep, trying to ignore the pleasant tingling her body felt as she moved against Spike's very naked body, (was it wrong to ogle him? No, it couldn't be! He was her boyfriend, her lover, her, well, _everything._ And even a _blind_ person couldn't ignore how good Spike looked) but she finally manages to get free. He immediately turns his head towards her, eyes looking at her sleepily, hair turning into a mass of curls. She feels the flame of desire shoot through her.

"Where d'you think you're going off to, Slayer?" He says, voice a bit slurred from sleep.

She shimmies on her pants (panties were a no go; she had lost them somewhere in the room after round three) and a shirt, before kneeling down by the bed to look at him eye to eye, stroking his head and giving him a smile. This situation was certainly different than the first time around for her with Spike, when she had put on her pants in shame (a shame she never should have felt. But she had been so stubborn back then about admitting her own feelings, even to herself.)

"Just going to get some ice; a bit thirsty. Someone," She says, in a mock-stern voice. "might have gotten me to use some throat muscles I didn't even know I had."

He gives her a smile that's one hundred percent satisfied male and she has to press her thighs together to try and ignore the wetness in her crotch that it creates in her.

"That right?" He purrs. But he blinks a bit, showing he was still tired.

"Yes. Now get back to sleep. No," She says, pulling away as he grabs at her. "No grabby hands. That leads to sweaty things and no refreshments for Buffy. I'll be right back."

She sees the look he tries to shutter away, even in his near asleep state, and it hurts her. She leans forward, kissing him softly on his neck, feeling him relax finally.

"I'll be right back." She knew his fear-as it was as much hers as well-that the person you loved would leave and not come back. Or that they'd _want_ to leave you at all. She knew they'd eventually get to a point, Powers willing, they'd be allowed to have some significant time together this time around, that there would never be a question of it again. But she understood now why they both felt this way. It'd pass completely with time.

And until then? She'd be sure to reassure him in whatever way she could-as much as she expected him to do for _her_ when she was the one who felt unsure.

After grabbing the ice bucket, she makes her way out of the room for the first time after what felt like days (wonderful, pleasantly sweaty, days) but she knew had only been a few hours. It was very near nightfall now, causing her to look up at the slowly darkening sky, swallowing a bit. It had been hours since she had talked to her friends, her mother, since she had sent Angel to hell (now for the second time.)

Fundamentally, she knew she just had to wait for her mother to cool off and the like, but the urge to get away with Spike had been too big to ignore. She wanted to be with him. No matter the time, the place, or anything inbetween. But she also knew she'd come back to Sunnydale proper soon enough; she'd never eternally leave her friends in a clinch, nor the town. It was just right now she had the urge to be away. She'd go anywhere he wanted, but the thing of it was...she just _knew_ he'd be the one who'd go anywhere _she_ wanted, without question.

She finds the ice machine down near the end of the hallway (a squat machine that was just on this side of starting to rust in a few places) and quickly fills the bucket, before making her way back. She's lost in thought so much that she ends up bumping into someone, nearly spilling her ice.

"Oh! Shit, I'm sorry." She says, clutching her bucket carefully so she wouldn't crush it.

A young woman, taller than her, with long black hair and casual clothes shrugs at her. She looked like a younger-yet older, weary-version of Faith, if Faith had done _much_ more hard living at a younger age (which was saying something, as she knew very well Faith had by _far_ not had an easy life growing up.)

"No big," The girl says. "At least you apologized. Some of the other Girls 'round here are real cunts."

The way she said "girls" gives her pause and her eyes widen when she realizes what the other girl means.

"Oh, I'm not a, uh..." She was trying to find a nice way to say it (after all, she didn't know people's situations and it wasn't fair of her to be a bitch to someone for something they probably couldn't help. A lesson hard learned for her.) "I'm here with my boyfriend." It gave her a warm glow to say that.

"Should'a guessed; most Girls don't wear their Johns' shirt."

She looks down, flushing; she hadn't even realized that she had put on Spike's shirt. She still manages to feel a bit pleased about it, all the same (it was like declaring her love, in even a small way, to the world at large.)

"But you're okay, right?" Buffy asks her, still a bit worried. With her strength, even bumping _into_ a vanilla human could bruise them up if she wasn't careful.

"I'm fine. I-" The young woman pauses. "You're...actually asking if I'm okay?"

"Yeah?" Buffy says, confused.

The young woman looks surprised, rubbing at her arm absently. "Just, I don't see people caring about whores at all. They always look past us, like we don't exist."

She winces at the term the girl uses. "Don't. No matter what you do-and I'm certainly not judging you for it-don't call yourself that. Maybe call yourself...a Lady of the Night? They called Girls that, like way back in the day. Sounds much better. Don't degrade yourself."

The woman looks surprised again, before a genuine smile on her face appears. "You're something else-"

"Buffy." She tells the girl, hand outstretched.

The girl hesitates for a moment, before taking it. "Kat."

She smiles. "It's nice to meet you, Kat."

Kat gives a laugh. "You actually mean that, don't you?"

"Yep!"

"You're...weird."

She laughs in return. "Not the first time I've heard that."

After giving a wave to Kat, she makes her way back to the room. The moment she gets into the room, she is pushed against the door by a cool body. She licks her lips, looking up at Spike. He seemed very much awake now, eyes dark as they look at her.

He touches her lightly on the face with the back of his hand, making her shiver. "I missed you."

"I wasn't gone _that_ long." She says weakly. "If we keep this up, we'll never want to be out of each others sight."

His eyes darken further at that, tongue moving out to touch the corner of his mouth. "Don't think that's a _problem_ , Slayer."

"I don't either." She whispers, before getting the courage to look up at him again. "I'm just afraid that you'll get tired of me. That-!"

His eyes widen at her and he pushes her harder against the wall, kissing her with an intensity that makes her gasp. The bucket of ice falls from her hands and she grabs his face, kissing him back desperately. Even though it had only been a short while ago, she feels her body grow hot, to wet and tighten in desire for him. He groans, obviously smelling her desire, pulling her close to him.

She starts to pull at his jeans-the only thing he was wearing (which was _very_ distracting)-opening up the fly and pulling out his cock, which was already erect. She gets down on her knees, eagerly putting it into her mouth, hearing his startled moan as she slides her tongue down his shaft. They hadn't done this kind of play yet (well, him letting her near his cock yet; he had seemed _more_ than content to eat her _pussy_ out until she screamed bloody murder, in her pleasure) and it was a huge turn on to her, especially so, given his reaction.

She felt so out of practice, but he seemed to like it a good deal. Seemed surprised, even, that she was doing it. It hadn't been something she had done much before getting with Spike, truly (a real relationship and not the base fucking they had done at first), as she had been a combination of shy and a bit uneasy at the thought of doing it at the time (though of course she quickly had learned with Spike that nothing, in the art of lovemaking, was truly _dirty.)_

She pushes him back with only a bit of force to get him against the nearest wall, moving her mouth back to his cock as soon as she's done. After a few moments, she feels his hands moving, ghosting, really, over her hair and it nearly makes her smile. She buts her head against his hands until he gets the idea, pulling at her hair with a bit of force, making her take him in deeper, causing them both to groan.

"Christ, Buffy." He groans.

He holds her like that for a time, pulling her back and forth to take him in deeper into her mouth before abruptly letting her go. She looks up at him, lips shining from saliva and pre-come, confused.

"Was it not-did I not do a good job?" She asks, brows furrowed.

He growls, picking her up, causing her to wrap her legs around his waist to help steady herself, barely keeping herself from rubbing her wet pussy against him.

"No, wasn't that-I mean," He says, licking his lips. "Didn't want to finish that way. Want to bury myself deep in your quim until you scream for me."

"I'll do that for you anyway," She says huskily, mouth against his ear. His grip on her tightens and she pulls back, stroking his face. "But that's not _entirely_ it, is it? Tell me."

He moves his head down between her breasts, shuddering slightly against her.

"Need to feel you. Need to know you love me." He says, hoarsely.

"William, I love you." She says softly.

His head jerks up in surprise, eyes looking at her with awe.

"And I'll tell you that every day for the rest of our lives. Or...for as long as you'll have me anywa-" He stops her talking, by kissing her hard. She can taste the saltiness of tears.

" _Forever."_ He growls, after he finally pulls away

She smiles.

"Forever." She agrees. She kisses him tenderly. "Tell me, Spike?"

"I love you, Buffy."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The next morning she heads down to go and pay for another day (they decided on one more day, then they'd take off...somewhere. Neither had a real destination in mind yet) and is surprised when she sees an ambulance near the entrance, frowning as she sees them taking someone on a stretcher...in a body bag. Someone had died.

The zip hadn't gone over the person's face yet though, so she finds herself going over to take a closer look.

"Don't come too close, miss." One of the paramedics say, but that's all they say to her; a lot of the forces in Sunnydale (from the police, to the fire department and many other departments) were good at burying their head in the sand. And many had an indifference to certain things that other cities would not.

"Okay." She says placatingly, hands up. Still, she's close enough to lean forward, to get a glimpse of- She gasps.

It was Kat.

She had just seen her last night! What had...

She grasps one of the paramedics' arms. "Wait. I know this girl. Kind of. What happened to her?"

"Suicide." The paramedic she was grabbing replies, moving free of her grip (which loosens in her continued shock.)

Suicide? Sure, it was obvious that Kat hadn't had an _easy_ life, but she had seemed upbeat enough when Buffy had seen her. True, she didn't know her that well at all, but her general demeanor hadn't seemed suicidal at all. She frowns, which only intensifies when she notices the bruising on Kat's face and neck. _Those_ certainly hadn't been there last night, when she had met Kat.

The thought of something being horribly _wrong_ filters through her mind. Sure, the town was on a Hellmouth, but this didn't have the usual sign of vampires (no bite marks) or demons (demons weren't this clean with their kills, even if they didn't eat any of the parts.) So that left humans, which was...not a pleasant thought for her. She didn't often deal with humans, in comparisons to vampires, demons, and anything else remotely related to the supernatural.

She was not the same girl, once upon a now, which had seen things in very black and white views. The world was littered with various shades of colors. Humans were good. Humans were evil. _Vampires_ were good. Vampires were evil. _Demons_ were good. Demons were evil. And the list went on... Nothing was cut and dry in this world, even if she had once thought so.

That certainly didn't mean she would stand by and let an innocent human die at the hands of a demon or a vampire...or a human, either. Same as she wouldn't let a good vampire or demon or what have you die at the hands of someone evil.

Whatever-no, _whoever-_ did this to Kat (who certainly didn't deserve to die, especially if they had done it because of what Profession she did in life) needed to be caught and taken away. Maybe she could get some info out of the front desk guy? Maybe something was found in her room or something?

"Nasty business." A guest says, shaking his head as he passes by Buffy.

She frowns, before making her way to the front desk. The front desk manager was dressed in much the same way as yesterday (though now he wore a sweater, instead of the wife beater; probably got cold, she imagined, as the waiting area was pretty chilly) and looks up as she makes her way up.

"Ahh. Made up your mind then for another night or two?"

"Yup." She says, popping the p. She hands over some money and waits to get change. "So...what happened?"

The guy gives a little jerk to his shoulder. "Pimp problems, apparently."

He hands her change over and goes back to watching something on a small tv he had propped up on a corner of the counter, without seeming too affected (but it was Sunnydale, so that wasn't all too unusual.) Still, the encounter-the whole situation after leaving her and Spike's motel room-leaves her feeling off.

"What's wrong, luv?" Spike asks her, as she gets in, seeing the look on her face. He had been in the midst of getting dressed. Well, sort of dressed. She supposed wearing only jeans (that weren't even properly buttoned up, to her silent approval) still counted as 'dressed.'

"A murder."

"Ah. _Thought_ I recognized the dulcet tones of Sunnydale's finest." Spike says, a bit sarcastically (though it wasn't directed at her, but more for the irony of the statement. As Sunnydale's 'finest' either had their heads in the sand or were generally incompetent.)

"Yeah. It was someone I ran into last night, when I went to get some ice." She says, frowning, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "She seemed really nice too. She-" And just like that, the thought of the brunette she very barely had known, and the weird inconsistencies she had just heard, gives way to one she knows a bit better. "Spike..."

"Yeah?"

She wasn't sure if she wanted to bring it up, but felt compelled to do so. Obviously she had known on some level that things had stopped between Drusilla and Spike, but hadn't really consciously thought about it until now. Her thoughts had been more with the _**Spike is here.**_ _Spike_ _ **wants**_ _me. Spike_ _ **loves**_ _me_ and not so much with the _Oh he's not with her anymore. Huh._

"I want to ask you something, but uh...I don't want you to get mad at me for it."

He raises an eyebrow at that. "An' how am I supposed to promise something like that? You make it sound like I'll be mad at you no matter which way."

"Uh...try? I'll uh...use my mouth on you again?" She offers. Though she'd gladly use it on him anyway, for no reason at all other than she really, _really,_ loved him and liked his body very, very much.

He lets out a bark of a laugh.

"That right?" He says, eyes twinkling in amusement. "Gonna hold you to that, Slayer." His face becomes more serious now. "So what's the question then?"

"Um...Drusilla. She's not...you're not..." _So eloquent, Buffy,_ she thinks.

Spike's eyes soften, reaching for her, holding her hand in his larger one. He strokes it idly while he speaks to her. "No, pet. We're not." He looks up at her. "M' with you. Made that vow with you, din't I?"

Something in her melts at that, but still, she can't stop herself from continuing to speak.

"I know. But...Spike, you were with her for over _a hundred years._ That isn't just something you can...leave behind." And that was the root of her deepseated fears, wasn't it? This Spike had only just left behind Drusilla. The Spike she had first known, the Spike that had first loved her had had time to reconcile a life without Drusilla in it. _This_ Spike didn't know that feeling.

She lets out a squeak as he pulls her, ending up onto his lap.

"Pet, it felt...finished with, me an' her. I thought I'd regret it more." This last part he says a bit more thoughtfully, almost to himself. "But all I feel is...relief."

"Spike-"

"I _did_ love her," He says insistently, before his expression softens, stroking her face. "But I..." He glances away now, as if embarassed.

"Tell me." She says softly.

"I love you." As if that was an answer. And to her...it was, actually. She understood, because she felt the same way too.

"I love you too. It's...different, isn't it?" She asks, her tone nearly a begging one. "It's _different._ It feels _more."_

"Yes." He says, relief in his tone, that she seems to understand. He wraps a hand around her middle, holding her close to him. The love she feels for him then is overwhelming, consuming.

"You're my world, Spike." She says, looking down at him from where he sat on the bed. "I know that sounds like so much, considering it's so...early," _For you,_ she thinks. _Well, even for_ _ **us**_ _, really, as you and me together like this, with_ _ **this**_ _you is all new..._ "But you are. I-"

He silences her with a kiss, pouring his own obvious relief in it as much as her own.

" _Yes_ ," He says again. He looks up at her with bright eyes. He swallows for a moment before speaking again. "It's all I've ever wanted, Buffy. All I've ever wanted."

To be the center of someone's world, for them to love you as much as you loved them, to have that love always. She knew that feeling very well. It was a feeling she never thought she'd be able to feel again.

"My neck, my heart." She murmurs, clutching him close.

 _You're full of love._

 _Death is my gift._

 _That's...so very true, isn't it? I just didn't know_ _ **how**_ _true that was, until now._

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I hope you enjoyed this!

Let me know what you thought!

-PhoenixJustice


	6. Chapter 6

Becoming, Part Three

By: PhoenixJustice

Disclaimer: BTVS is owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and others who are not me. I only own this story and make no profit from this.

Warning: Rated M for graphic sexual content, language, violence, etc.

Pairing: Spike/Buffy Summers, etc.

Setting: In the middle of Becoming, Part Two; possible spoilers for the entire series (including comics.)

Summary: Well. They never said it'd be an _easy_ Reward.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

This easy trust between them would shock everyone she knew. Hell, in any other circumstances it would have shocked _her,_ even. Shocked Spike himself, possibly. But instead, to them, it felt...right. Well, of course it felt _right_ to her, because it was Spike, but it was also _more_ than that. It felt like it should have been this way from the beginning.

That her simply opening up enough had allowed something to happen that would also have happened back then, the first time around for her, if she had just let it (had _allowed_ herself to admit what was, what _could_ have happened back then.)

That same trust and ease in one another made it to where Spike doesn't even blink twice at her deciding for them to go to LA the next night. He merely shrugs his assent, not at all fazed at her deciding for them this time around. They start to get what little they had together, before she decides to go for ice again (this time determined not to let Spike spill the contents, even if he decided to get all super sexy again), as they wouldn't be leaving for another few hours.

It's late enough now that even night owls weren't even up (only vampires-and her-would be up at this time), leaving an almost eerie quiet as she walks down the hallway to get to the ice machine. It hadn't been that long ago she had come across Kat and now the girl was dead, just like that. Things like that weren't fair. Some were dealt such a heavy hand in life, so early. Sure, she was the Slayer and yes that was such a difficult burden sometimes, but she had also been gifted things to be able to _handle_ that burden.

People like Kat were thrown to the wolves with nary a sword to protect them. And while it was Buffy's job, her _duty,_ to take care of the things that went bump in the night (and occasionally the day) she still had to resist the urge to take on _every_ case that flew through Sunnydale (and then later places like San Francisco), supernatural or not. That was what the police and the like were for-were _supposed_ to be for.

She had found a few people along the way that had been helpful, from the police side of things, more willing to believe or just in general more willing to _help_ when dealt with the supernatural in front of their very eyes. These weren't many but they were always useful to have as allies (she knew that there were many more in the know-stuff like the Initiative had proved that-but most didn't actively try to _help._ At least not in a way she noticed.)

Speaking of noticed, she notices, as she's getting almost to the ice machine, the motel room next to it open and she's surprised to see the owner/front desk guy coming out of one of the rooms. He stops short when he notices her, looking at her with as much surprise as she must have been looking at him with.

"Oh, uh, can I help you?" He asks her.

She shakes her head, then shakes the ice bucket in her hand. "Not unless you can instant some ice into this."

"Can't say I could." He says. She blinks at the tone. It was the first time he sounded something besides completely indifferent. She'd pass it off as coincidence, but in her line of work she didn't deal in coincidences. Not often, anyway. And most always her instinct ran true. And her instinct was currently telling her that there was a red flag here.

She shrugs, affecting indifference. "Oh well! Had to try. Thanks anyway."

She gives him a wink, feeling his eyes on her as she walks past, moving to get some ice from the machine. After a moment she hears his footsteps leading away and once she doesn't hear him anymore, she frowns. Why had he been coming out of that room? Sure, he worked here, but it still seemed...odd. It wouldn't have if she hadn't known he was staying in the room behind the front desk, but he was.

"Oh well," She mutters. "Guess I-oh shit!" She wasn't paying complete attention on the machine and her bucket overflows and nearly slips from her fingers. She wouldn't have noticed it, if her eyes hadn't been looking down, focused on keeping the bucket in her hands.

Blood.

Not a lot of it, but the color looked too recent. It's then she notices a few more droplets, here and there. Curiosity gets the best of her and she follows the trail-what scant trail there was-and it leads to the door...that the guy had just come from. Had he just cut himself or something and was cleaning it up? Cause, sure, it looked fresh, but it didn't look _that_ fresh. It looked like it had been there for a bit, but not enough to where you could confuse it with something from a long time ago.

She tries the door handle. Locked, as expected. She looks around surreptitiously, before pushing her shoulder against the door, opening it with force. The light was still on, funnily enough (maybe her approach had made him scurry away quickly?) which made it easy for her to see the carpet. A few sections looked like they had been recently torn away and other parts had more of the same blood droplets. She looks down closely, to see if she can see a sort of trail like she had on the outside and she does.

It leads her to the bathroom, where she outright gasps. There was blood _everywhere._ It looked like there had been a violent struggle. She struggles to keep steady on her feet, letting out a deep breath and walking back into the main room (but not before grabbing one of the washcloths on a metal shelf which had miraculously come out unscathed.) She uses the washcloth to grab the phone (she was nosy, sure, but she also wasn't _stupid_ ) and calls her and Spike's room number.

He's answers after the first ring, gruffness in his voice. "Yeh?"

"It's me." She says.

Something in her tone must tell him something, because his tone instantly becomes much more serious.

"What's wrong, pet?" He asks quietly. "Where are you calling from?"

"One of the rooms near the ice machine," She replies back, just as quietly. "There's...blood. A lot of blood."

"Where the girl was killed, you think?" To his ultimate credit, although she knew he had to be _highly_ curious about the blood (he was a vampire, to be fair) he stayed on topic and serious and she loved him all the more for it. He knew what she _was._ Even here, even now...he knew her. And she loved him.

"With this much blood-and it still looking so fresh-I would think so. But it's weird...I saw that front desk guy coming out of here. And if this was where she had died-and I think it is-shouldn't it be taped off by the Sunnydale PD? But it's not. So that makes me think that-"

"She was found somewhere else." He finishes for her.

She nods, though she knows he can't see it. "Right? So if he came from here and she wasn't _found_ here...Spike?"

"Yes, sweet?"

"You think you can go to the front desk? Maybe find out a few things? I'm going to see if I can find anything else in here or around here. Does that-does that sound good?"

"Sure thing, pet."

"And..." She hesitates for a moment. "I think he did it."

She can hear his confusion over the phone. "Yeah? Pretty sure we already established that."

"No. I mean," She holds back a sigh with difficulty. Not at him, but at her own inarticulateness. "He might just be a bystandard or just knows who did it, but his personality seems like...I think he did it. So...do...what you have to."

It's quiet for a long, long moment. Then:

"You're sure?" His voice is a whisper she can barely hear.

"Yes." She licks her lips. "If it...if it comes to that. I'd still prefer to get the police involved if we can, but...yes. I trust you to do the right thing."

She can hear his intake of breath, the breath he didn't need but still pulled in anyway. He was so unlike Angel in many regards, that being one of them; Angel never breathed, voluntarily or involuntary (both of which Spike always had done.) Perhaps he, Angel, felt like it made a 'mockery' of things, something he had no right to (he had sure liked to suffer in his 'redemption'. Later things had been much better for him, but for awhile there...brood city.)

"I love you." She tells him.

"I love you too." He says back, a bit hoarsely now. "See you soon."

"See you."

She replaces the phone and lets out a deep sigh.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

There had been no mistaking her words. He had known what she had meant, even before she had elaborated further; it was just his own astonishment had left him asking her what she had meant. If this had been, even just a short while ago, he might think it a trap...before dismissing that thought entirely. Even _before_ he realized he was in love with her, he had still _known_ her. Had known that she wouldn't be the type to do something like that.

Buffy was like _him;_ they'd fight openly, in your face. No tricks or subterfuge. They didn't need, or want, that shite. That was much more Angelus' gig, always had been. Spike loved the rough and tumble. Loved the sound of the slapping of hands, fists, kicks, that impact as he hit someone or they hit him. It had helped him get out all that aggression, early on, after he had first been turned. That frustration that had come with twenty plus years of life as a mere human, as an awful poet, a nancy boy who had clung to his mother's skirts for far too long, who had let everyone always step on him.

Once he had been Changed, he had been determined to keep that from ever happening again. Probably one of the reasons he resented Angelus so much, if he really thought about it. Because Angelus had done that to him many, many times, in the twenty years they had all been together as a Family. Not always (no sometimes Angelus would forget himself and there would be an easy trust between them. They'd fight or kill some people, shag the women-or each other-and it'd be good. Until Angelus remembered who he was and that'd be that, until the next rare time.)

He shakes those thoughts out of his head, getting dressed quickly (he'd had plenty of practice over the decades, running away from mobs and the like), stomping his way down to the front. It's quiet and silent, the only sounds the whirl of the air conditioning and-he listens closer-a heartbeat coming from the room behind. He takes a step forward, sniffing.

He smelled blood. Some fairly fresh and some not. He hadn't been out with Buffy when she had come across the dead girl being taken away nor when she dealt with the guy and she didn't have his extra senses, but now he was here and he could pick up her slack like she picked up his. They fit each other.

Because he certainly knew he was lacking in empathy, in some ways. Not about _everything_ or every _one,_ but about certain things. He knew that _Buffy_ knew that he didn't care about the girl who had died. But he cared about it overall because _Buffy_ cared and that made all the difference. He didn't know the girl who died, and neither did Buffy, but it wasn't in her to turn away from what she'd consider an injustice.

He didn't have a soul. And honestly, he didn't feel like there'd be much difference if he _did_ have one (unlike what good ol' Peaches seemed to think.) Because it wasn't that he was unfeeling or uncaring. Because he certainly felt and he cared and he _loved._ But the thing was, the stuff like this with the dead girl? It was far enough away from him that he could find pity, if he really wanted to, that the girl had been snuffed out so soon.

But it felt just like those times when you'd read the paper or watch the news, hearing about an explosion that killed dozens. You felt bad about the loss of life, but you didn't find real sadness in it, because you didn't know them. It's why you might not even shed a tear about hearing something like, though you were sad, but would cry buckets when a loved one died.

It was about _connection._

He had come to understand these things long before Angel had started eating rats in dirty sewers trying to find penance for something Spike knew that the older vampire didn't completely hate himself for. And _that_ was what made him brood and get all soulful eyed and pitiful. Angel wanted to pay for his mistakes. And he didn't. He wanted to find peace with the soul-and he wanted it out (didn't want to deal with the angst it brought him.)

He knew Angel well.

Spike shrugs off his thoughts and uses his keen senses to follow the blood trail in the air. It gets him to the front counter-and he can smell it behind it, which makes him know that it led beyond it, into the room. He jumps the counter and grabs the doorhandle. Surprisingly it was unlocked, which led him to believe either the man behind it was stupid or didn't expect anyone to try it this late at night (he highly suspected the former, with perhaps a bit of the latter.)

It swings open and he saunters in, smirk firmly in place when he moves further in, seeing the man jump when he notices him. But not before _Spike_ notices him furiously scrubbing at a bloody shirt, muttering under his breath.

"Well, well," He drawls, making the man's eyes widen, dropping the shirt from his hands. "Looks like we have a winner! So, mate, can't even get the Ladies of the Night to pay you any mind?"

"What-what are you?" The man stammers. "I mean-get out of here! This is a private room!"

Spike snorts, moving forward. Buffy had been completely right about the guy. He'd have to remember to praise her for it-many times (the look on her face when she came was _breathtaking.)_ "And here I am _completely_ not caring. Now if you don't-" He rolls his eyes when the guy makes a run for it, running past him. He actually gives him a few seconds head start and _still_ catches him as soon as they get to the desk. He grabs at him, tsking. "Mate, mate. I even gave you a chance and you _still_ disappoint me. Sure, you're nothing _near_ my Slayer, but you couldn't even get a _few_ feet away?"

The man is now sweating profucely and he tries to scramble back out of his grip, causing a few things on the desk to be scattered all over the place.

"Stop, please don't-"

"I'm sure that's what the girl said before you killed her." He says, shrugging his shoulders.

He was starting to get a bit bored. The clues and the chase-however short-had admittedly been fun, but he knew this one here would give him no fun. He could kill him and be done with it, but he finds himself hesitating. He knew Buffy wouldn't make a move to stake him for it, may not even show any real disapproval. And yet...he knew she'd still be happier if things were done a different way. And that was what mattered to him. He'd do whatever it took to make her happy.

"Anyway, I don't really care but, can't let my girl down. So here's what you're going to do-"

"I'm not going to do _anything!"_ The man exclaims, fruitlessly pulling at Spike's hand to try and free himself. "You're crazy! You're-"

His face shifts. "Someone who has absolutely no qualms about killing you." He says, his voice a bit thicker as it always got when he changed into his vampire visage. "Now. Let's try this again?"

The man whimpers pathetically in his grip. "I-I'm sorry! She was just a whore! Nobody important! Why not-"

"First," He says, ignoring the man speaking. "You're going to confess all you've done to the cops I'm going to call."

"A-and second?" The man asks, face white with fear.

He abruptly lets go of the man, before punching him unconscious. Not hard enough to do any real damage, but to knock him out instantly. He dusts off his front.

"Second, you're going to lie there like a good lil' boy while I rifle through your stuff for funsies."

But first-

He grabs the front desk phone and calls his and Buffy's room (no answer) before trying the number she had just called from, shaking off his vampire visage.

"Is it...done?" She asks hesitantly.

"Yeh. Well," He amends. "Got the guy. He definitely did it."

There's a pause and he knows what she's thinking.

"He's a bit unconscious on the floor right now," He continues. "But I didn't hit him that hard; sure he'll wake up for the cops well enough."

"That's...I'm sure he will." They both ignore the relief in her voice. "I'll be down soon then. Did you already call them?"

"No, wanted to let you know first. Call them after I hang up with you. I put the fear of god, well, Vampire, in him and he'll spill everything to them. See you soon. Love you."

"I love you too, William."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

She hangs up and he stares at the phone for a moment before replacing it and picking it back up to call the police. After he's done, he sighs, patting his down his pockets (he could use something to occupy him until Buffy got down here) but sighs again when he realizes he hadn't grabbed any of his smokes. He didn't like the waiting feeling (he was a fighter. Someone who wanted to go out there and _do_ things; waiting wasn't his strong suit. Which is how he ended up fighting Buffy earlier than he had originally promised her, when they first met.)

So he starts picking up random things that had spilled when he had been dealing with the man. Nothing catches his attention, as it seems like all mundane things (a pen here, a cup there), until he notices a clipboard with a paper on it.

It was a list of people who had signed in to get a room. He didn't think Buffy would use her real name. Or all of it anyway. Maybe she had something funny in mind for him too. Maybe they'd be a pair like Bonnie and Clyde or...

He stops, staring down at the paper.

 _Buffy and William Pratt._

Or...that.

He isn't sure how long he stares at it in disbelief. But the words on the paper do not change, even when he blinks at it rapidly, as if it were a mirage. But then he starts to hear footsteps approaching. Without another thought, he rips the paper off the clipboard, sticking it into one of his duster pockets.

"Hi, luv."

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I hope you enjoyed this!

Let me know what you thought!

-PhoenixJustice


	7. Chapter 7

Becoming, Part Three

By: PhoenixJustice

Disclaimer: BTVS is owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and others who are not me. I only own this story and make no profit from this.

Warning: Rated M for graphic sexual content, language, violence, etc.

Pairing: Spike/Buffy Summers, etc.

Setting: In the middle of Becoming, Part Two; possible spoilers for the entire series (including comics.)

Summary: Well. They never said it'd be an _easy_ Reward.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

They watch the police take the motel guy away, sobbing and muttering to himself, and she's left with a feeling of a curious sort of satisfaction. If this had been her first go around in life, back when she had still been relatively new at Slaying, she would have been satisfied that she had stopped someone so obviously messed up, would have felt a deep anger for a few reasons; she would have been upset at the loss of life (as to be expected) but beyond that she would have beat herself up much more than she should have, thinking that she one hundred percent could have stopped it somehow (even though it would have been obvious she couldn't; there hadn't been any warning signs for her _to_ stop.)

But now? Now she could see that she _had_ done everything she could. And...she had liked it. Searching for clues, figuring things out. Helping people. She knew how to Slay things, and as a byproduct, help people, but this was something that required something _more_ than what was usually required of her. In hindsight, she could see the appeal that Angel and the others that worked with him in LA, had in what they had done.

And even more than _that?_ She turns to glance at Spike who was looking at the police car with a neutral expression. She waits until the police car is out of sight, then turns to Spike.

"Well. That was-!" She cannot finish her sentence, as Spike grabs her, kissing her roughly. She moans and melts against him, kissing him back just as hard, moving her wet mouth over his soft lips, their tongues waging war against one another. He knew how to kiss. With passion, with feeling, with lust, with _love._

Neither of them pull back until she feels the pressing need to breathe, taking in a few deep breaths, her chest moving up and down, feeling herself grow wet at his hungry look at her chest, at her face.

"What was that for?" She asks breathlessly.

He licks his lips for a moment before answering, beautiful blue eyes looking into hers. "Do I need a reason to kiss my girl?"

 _My girl._

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"But besides that...din't that feel fun? Sleuthing an' all that." He elaborates.

"So it wasn't just me?" She confesses, with a shy smile.

"No. Was fun," He adds, after eyeballing her for a brief moment, making sure she wasn't just making fun. But no, she seemed as enthused as he did. "If, well _when_ with you-Slayer an' all-then I'm up for another go of Spike an' Buffy's Detective Agency."

The look on her face would have been reason enough to put forth that suggestion, even if he _hadn't_ enjoyed himself (but he had.)

"So!" He says, arm around her shoulder, leading her back to his car. "What's the game plan then, Slayer? LA, right?"

"Umm...actually, I think you can pick, Spike."

"Yeh? Why's that?"

She smiles at him. "Well, I'm in a good mood, I _love_ you, and you've been around for awhile, so you've _got_ to know some good places."

He raises a brow, before smirking at her. "I think I might know a place."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"You just let her go?"

"What else could I-Rupert, I was in shock!"

"We don't even know where she went!"

"Well-" Willow shrinks a bit under the sudden scrutiny from many pairs of eyes. She was still healing, but had been released a few days ago from the hospital. The pain of Buffy's absence was now hurting her more than the pain in her body. "We know she was at least at Angel-Angelus' place; the Sword was there."

"And the world isn't all...end-y," Xander says, gesturing a bit wildly with his hands. "So, she definitely took care of him. Bummer your spell didn't work before she killed him." He obviously didn't mean the latter of that _much,_ as he was by _far_ not a fan of Angel (or Angelus) but he also didn't want to hurt Willow's feelings.

"All that power...I thought it worked." Willow says, frowning.

"Was pretty cool." Is Oz's calm addition to the conversation.

"Yes, well, all of that aside, we have one _dead_ Slayer and one _missing_ Slayer-the latter of which is something we can do something about!" Giles had obviously seen better days; he looked like he hadn't gotten much sleep the past while. Miss Calendar would have been a welcoming kind touch there to help him, if she had still been around. Hers was a loss they all felt keenly (though Giles felt it the hardest.)

He focuses his attention back onto Joyce, who looked a combination of tired, weary and...guilty?

"What happened when you met her? I assume it had to be something that involved her dealing with something." He says, trying to find calm, voice lowered.

"I-"

"Does that matter right now?" Xander interjects, looking a combination of tired and upset. "Unless it involves something that can help find Buffy?"

"Yes...yes, you're right." To be rebuked by a mere boy...it certainly brought Giles back to something much more resembling himself. He turns his attention to Joyce.

He certainly didn't hate the woman but her stubborn streak (he could see where Buffy got it from) could be a bit tiresome, especially in a situation such as this. But he also understood that it would be a shock to hear about the true nature of the world-and the role her child played in it.

"Joyce," He continues, for the first time using her first name and not her last. "Did Buffy say anything or give you some indication where she might be going?"

The older woman shakes her head, lines of tiredness and stress clear in her face. "No, nothing. We-didn't talk much." She says, with a bit of shame in her tone.

"Well," Giles says, having recovered a bit from his temper-Ripper was still in him yet-stands a little straighter, voice more authorative. "Joyce, I would suggest you head back home. Both for rest and just in case Buffy stops by or calls. Willow, when you're up to it I would welcome your help in any magical or technological fields."

Both of them nod. After a look at the group, Joyce makes her way out of the hospital room.

"Xander, Oz, perhaps you both could drive around in Oz's van and see if you can spot Buffy or anything peculiar that might give us an idea of her trail?"

"Sure thing, G-man." Xander says. Although he was obviously tired, he also looked ready to get into action and help.

Oz merely gives a nod, but for the young man that spoke volumes. After the two of them leave, Giles takes a seat in one of the now emptied chairs with a heavy sigh, rubbing at his eyes beneath his glasses.

"Giles, you need to rest."

He shakes his head. "I'll rest later." _When Buffy is found_ was the unspoken finish of the sentence that they both knew. He-none of them-could accept that she had fallen, as Angelus had, as Kendra had. He would _know_ it if she had; he _would._

He makes a noise of protest when Willow shakily picks up the laptop near her. "Willow, rest. You're still hurt and you're exhausted."

"So are you." She points out. "You just went through hell with Angelus; don't think I forgot." She opens it up, typing in a few things. "Plus this...helps. I need a distraction." She looks up at Giles and for a moment, she is both the young woman she was, weary and scared as well as a mature woman, determined and strong.

It's then that he really notices, from her determination, to the others' determination, for the first time that these ragtag group of teenagers, led by the Slayer, were not merely just acquaintances for him. Not any longer.

They were family.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"What is this place?" She asks, in a near whisper, looking around in astonishment. "And how have I never seen it before?"

Inbetween Los Angeles and Sunnydale, in the middle of the desert, stood a single house (well, house was a generous term as it looked more like a shack.) Mind you, it wasn't like she had been in the desert-y parts between the cities often, but she _had_ been in this area before (back when she had Giles take her on a Spirit Quest.)

"It shifts between a few locations. Only those who know of it know what time and place it'll end up at. And even then, sometimes it won't pop up, depending on the situation." He grabs her shoulder, making her tingle from the contact and nearness of him, pointing at the house. "See the shimmer around it? As if it were a hot day?"

Which it very much wasn't right now, given the time of night it was. She nods and looks closer at it, now that he points it out.

"The shimmer is from the magic outside and within. Pretty complicated stuff, so I've heard."

She turns to look at him. "What is it?"

He glances down at her and she shivers at his look, not the cooling air of the night, feeling her body tighten in response to the heat in his eyes.

"A way to get us quicker to where I want to take you."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

She's once more astounded as he leads her to the front ("Don't worry about any outside protection. No need for wards-they know me.") and inside the building. It is much bigger on the inside than the outside.

"Like a TARDIS." She says, eyes taking in everything.

He glances at her for a moment, before smirking a bit. "Suppose you're right. Though The Doctor looks a damn sight better than-"

"Thirty years and _that's_ what you wanna say to me?"

She glances over, brows raised as she takes in the sight of a very tall demon. His skin was red and he had horns on his head (more like a deer's and not a ram's) He also had red eyes (whereas hers were green and Spike's were blue, his were red) but he didn't seem to have a tail or cloven feet. He looked akin to a Fyral but not quite the same (also he was wearing a simple white shirt and blue jeans, which she hadn't expected.)

Spike walks right up to him and pats him on the shoulder (the demon was much taller than Spike but he is just tall enough to manage it.)

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry about that. Slayer, this is Lenny, an old acquaintance. Lenny, this is Buffy, my girl."

"Your girl." Buffy whispers, face flushing. She certainly was.

"Slayer?" Lenny says, recoiling a bit.

"Oh! Don't worry, I'm not-" She starts, before glancing at Spike. His eyes were more serious than they had been in awhile and she knew what this was. This was a matter of trust. He was putting forth a huge amount of trust in her, showing her something like this, given who she was.

"I'm not going to hurt you unless you hurt me or Spike. Plus you seem pretty cool to me." She smiles, glancing around at where they were. "And you have a sweet bar."

It had the looks of a small local bar, complete with pool table, karaoke, darts, and the like, but it was much bigger and it was obviously being maintained well; everything looked pristine and new (which showed her that the front of the house was just another way of subterfuge, just in case something happened and the house happened to get spotted by those not supposed to see it or something. Very smart.)

"I'm not the kind of Slayer you've heard about." She continues, taking a step forward when she notices Lenny starting to relax, seeing the obvious approval in Spike's eyes. "I mean, I _was,_ but I learned. The world isn't black and white. I know that. It took a long time to learn that, but I did. I hope that's good enough." She extends her hand, head tilted to look up at the very tall demon. "I'm Buffy."

Lenny extends a red hand, nails long and black on his hand. "Lenny."

And as they shake hands, the funniest thing happens; his skin starts to lighten, the nails retract and he starts to get shorter and shorter, morphing into a regular looking human, slightly taller than her or Spike now, with short tossled brown hair and gray eyes. He was pretty handsome, actually (though not as handsome as Spike, in her-very biased-opinion.)

"Oh." She manages.

They pull back their hands mutually and she glances at Spike to see what he thought, but he didn't look at all surprised.

Lenny smiles. "It never gets old doing that."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"I was Cursed." Lenny says. They were all at the bar, with Buffy and Spike sitting on barstools next to one another while Lenny was serving them drinks (Orange Juice only for Buffy, as she still wasn't much of an alcohol person and-eww-straight whiskey in a glass for Spike. She never knew how he could down the stuff so easily. Her and drinks were not mixy things.)

He leans against the bar as he speaks, still in his human looking form.

"It was oh...I dunno, about sixty or so years ago? Hard to remember, as the years tend to blend together."

"You said it was about sixty when I first met you, Len." Spike says.

"Oh shit, you're right. God, I really need to get a better calendar-anyway, as I was saying. I was Cursed. I was born human. Nice, normal, well-to-do family, until Pop lost his job. Things were getting really tight and stressful (which is a nice way of saying we were starting to starve and lose everything we owned). I tried to find work, but I was just out of school and didn't have any experience. And we didn't have any family to help us (they washed their hands of my parents when my mom became pregnant with me outta wedlock) so it was pretty bad."

"But then one day, I see a little section in the newspaper. Seemed too good to be true, of course, but I was desperate. I reach out to them and they say they can offer me money. I just have to sign this Deal. Sign on the dotted line and they'll come back when they choose to get payment. No interest even. He _seemed_ like a nice guy-nice looking even-but as he leaves me with the money, I realize he didn't even say what he wanted from me!"

By this point, Buffy is engrossed in the tale, leaning forward in interest. Spike looked interested enough, but had obviously heard this tale already (he seemed more interested in seeing how _Buffy_ was, during this tale.)

"So I'm sweating in my boots, waiting...but nothing happens. A day, a week, a _month_ , goes by and nothing happens. My parents, by this time, were so hard up that they didn't even ask me where I got the money. And after awhile, I started to forget that I had even made a Deal. It popped up in my subconscious now and again, in my dreams, but other than that I didn't give it much thought. Should'a, I guess. Anyway, a year to the day I made the Deal, I get a knock on my door. It's the man."

"I ask him what he wants and he reminds me I made the Deal. Instantly, I'm panicking (I mean, sure, we were doing better by this point, but we didn't have nowhere _near_ the money he had offered us. No interest? Great! But I was still screwed.) I didn't know what to say for a moment, but he grabs at my shirt and pulls me forward. Pretty sure I didn't have much thought beyond 'Oh _shit.'_ and 'Oh hey, he's even handsomer up close.'"

" 'You made a Deal with me, boy.' is what he tells me. _Now,_ " He says, with Buffy laughing outright and Spike snorting with laughter. "by this point, I'm quaking (his voice was pretty nice too, come to that) and he's shaking me. 'You will abide by the Deal. Your life is forfeit and belongs to me.' That was all I heard from him then. I took off. Ran like the Devil himself was chasing me. Which, to be fair, he kinda was (or maybe one of his _minions?_ Dunno.)"

"I was a sprinter in school, so I was sailing across the pavement, but the guy was ungodly fast too (knowing what I do now, preternatural speed is one of the _least_ crazy things I've ever seen in my life.) I was sure he was going to catch up to me. And he _would_ have."

He takes a pause, obviously deep in thought. Buffy takes that time to take a drink of her orange juice-

"Until he fell in a manhole."

-and promptly spits it everywhere.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"No!" She exclaims, after a few moments, when her embarrassment passes (doing her best to ignore the laughter from the two men in the bar as she wipes down where she had sprayed juice.)

"Yep. I looked back to see if he was still chasing me and all I heard was a groan. Me being me, I went to check it out. He was stuck on something down below (apparently the construction guys working under the street had left some stuff down there) and was waving at me indignantly. 'Free me of this! Right now!'"

" 'Uh,' I tell the guy. 'I can't. You're trying to take my life.' "

" 'I'll do _worse_ things if you don't free me right now!' "

" 'Sorry, can't. My mother told me never to help evil guys in suits who are trying to steal my life away. _Especially_ if they're stuck down a manhole. Just good common sense.' And by that point, I'm moving away from the manhole-'Stop! Free me now! I'm going to miss my three o'clock meeting!'-and when I think I'm free in the clear, I get hit with something in the back. Apparently he couldn't free himself, but he had managed to gather some energy and hit me with some sort of spell. But since he couldn't see me, it messed up or something."

"So instead of killing me outright, like I expected, it just Cursed me. So I'm like this," He gestures at his human form. "And this." He gestures and his Demon form appears for a moment before he reverts back to his human form. "I've been on the run from him ever since."

"Hence the Transport-a House." She says.

"Not too bad a life. I still get to see the sights, meet interesting people."

"So how did you two meet?" She glances at Spike, addressing them both with the question.

"First time was the fifties, wasn't it?" Lenny says, looking at Spike for confirmation. "You nearly got sent away in a Paddy Wagon."

"What happened?" She asks, curiosity making her lean forward again.

"Ah." Spike starts, looking a bit uncomfortable. "Nothing special, pet."

"He was on his own-one of Drusilla's mad spells, wasn't it?-and I found him helping a girl who had gotten attacked. Small little thing, even compared to my human form. Some local guys got the wrong idea and called the police. You Slayers are a deceptive lot, aren't you?"

And instantly she gets the picture. Her eyes widen and she turns to look at Spike, who is looking away, shoulders hunched. She actually didn't know this story. This, as well as his affiliation with people like Lenny were things that future Spike hadn't ever told her. She kind of liked that, actually. She got to be apart of new things with Spike ( _this_ Spike) more than she had initially expected to.

"Of course you did." She says softly. By her tone-and Spike's expression when he turns to finally look at her-he obviously hadn't expected her to talk that way. She smiles at him, moving a hand forward to put over his larger one. She strokes it as she gazes at him. "That's you to a t. You wanted a fair fight."

He looks at her a moment, face a bit shocked that she hadn't rebuked him any, that there was no censure in her words. She supposed that he thought _she_ would instantly come to the wrong idea or something.

"It's what he said too, when I ran into him-literally," Lenny says. "Maybe he thought I wanted a fight at first, but fuck that; I know a Master level vampire when I see it. I may have learned a thing or two in my years, but I'm not stupid. Last thing I needed was a vampire after me _and_ __a Slayer (hurt or not!) So I did something better."

She raises a brow and Lenny smiles.

"I offered him a beer."

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I hope you enjoyed this!

Let me know what you thought!

-PhoenixJustice


	8. Chapter 8

Becoming, Part Three

By: PhoenixJustice

Disclaimer: BTVS is owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and others who are not me. I only own this story and make no profit from this.

Warning: Rated M for graphic sexual content, language, violence, etc.

Pairing: Spike/Buffy Summers, etc.

Setting: In the middle of Becoming, Part Two; possible spoilers for the entire series (including comics.)

Summary: Well. They never said it'd be an _easy_ Reward.

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"Condolences." The gruff voice of Quentin Travers says.

"Thank you." Giles says wearily, still exhausted and still pushing himself far beyond what he probably should, after what he had been through with Angelus.

"May I ask how her end was met?"

 _Right to the point as ever, Quentin._ Giles thinks wryly.

"She met in battle with the vampiress Drusilla as well as a few others. She held her own until the very end, nearly taking Drusilla."

"A noble death indeed, especially to come so close to taking one as powerful as Drusilla out."

 _Noble...of course you would think so. You are not the one close to these girls as they meet their potential death night after night. Nor their final end._

"Yes...may I ask who the next in line is?" Giles asks, as politely as he can manage in his current state.

"We are currently tracking her down now. Should not be very difficult, given the men and women I have searching for her. From what the mystics have gathered, her name is-"

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Faith! You get back to this damn house right now!"

She hurries her stride, doing her best to ignore the bellowing from her (very much drunk) mother. If she was lucky, her mother'd pass out before she returned, as she often did, so she didn't have to deal with her screaming at her about how all problems in life were somehow Faith's fault ("Your father would still be around if you hadn't been here!" "I could afford a fucking decent place to live if you weren't eating me out of house and home!" "Should have gotten that abortion like my mother asked me to. Ain't worth goddamn shit.")

Wasn't many places she could go this time of night, but she had learned a few things over the years out of sheer necessity (one alcoholic and abusive parent was just as bad as two had been) so she had gained a few hiding places in town. Nights like this almost made her miss school (at least that'd gain her a few hours away from her mother.)

She felt stifled and knew it was more from her situation than the air. She felt like she was swimming against a tidal wave, with no sight of rescue. If she could have left already she would have done so. If only she had something to give her an edge, something...

Her head perks up when she passes by a darkened alleyway, hearing a muffled sound. She pauses at the entrance, listening closely, when she hears it again. It was a scream. Sounded like a woman's scream that was being quieted somehow. Her feet are down the alleyway before she even thinks about it, instinct taking over (probably it prompted her subconscious to think of the past, when her mother was getting abused by her father, when Faith would try and cover her ears with her pillows to muffle the sound. She learned quickly to be quiet then, else she'd face his abusive wrath too.)

Amidst strewn garbage and knocked over garbage cans, a man was leaning above a woman. Through the mix of his hair and hers, she couldn't tell what he was doing, but he seemed to be near her neck (a knife, maybe?)

"Hey! What the fuck you think you're doing?" She shouts.

The man is seemingly startled and whips his head around. Her eyes widen as she sees the twisted visage of his face, the elongated teeth, the blood around his mouth. He was-

"Vampire." She whispers.

It couldn't be, but it was. He lunges at her, snarling, and she reacts instinctually, a fist moving forward to hit him. For a moment it is like time stops and then-bang! He's sailing across, back into a brick wall. She stares in shock for a moment at him, at her fist, then looks at the young woman.

"Go!"

She watches her run out the back way, which is her mistake. He finds purchase on her, his second lunge sending her skitting across the rough pavement. His eyes are wild and burning yellow as they reach for her-

-and she has to cough moments later as he turns into a pile of dust that flies all around her.

She looks up as a hand reaches down...and takes it.

"First time against vampires is never easy." A young blonde woman says, with a wry expression on her face. She turns to look at a man standing next to her, blond as well (his hair very obviously bleached), holding a wooden stake. He was also in vampire visage.

She takes an involuntary step back.

"Oh! Uh, no it's okay. Spike's-" The young woman says, glancing at him before looking at Faith again. "He's not, _we're_ not, going to hurt you. Not the best impression that guy made, I'm sure, but-"

"You saved me." She says, addressing both of them. The situation was the weirdest she had ever been apart of (and that counted the time that Big Larry had stolen the school mascot and rode it around town) but there was something about these two...

"Wasn't much, but-" The guy, Spike?, says, shrugging a bit. He shakes off his vampire visage, showing off a handsome face.

"We did what we could." The young woman finishes.

Faith shakes her head. How to explain it to them? How no one, family _or_ strangers had ever helped her in any way. Had shown _any_ sort of caring, even if only slightly. She'd leave it for now. If they had wanted to hurt her, they'd have done so before; they certainly wouldn't have helped her against the vampire. Faith was far from naive. She had done, and seen, many things in her short life. She had been dealt a shit hand more often than not. But one perk of that was it left her to-generally-get a good read on people.

"Thanks. I'm Faith."

She extends a hand to the young woman, having already been sort of introduced to the vampire, man, Spike. The young woman takes it, smiling at her. It had been a long time since anyone looked that friendly at Faith.

"Buffy."

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She had been sorry to leave Lenny, but he had promised her 'Sanctuary, if you ever need it. Seriously,' Lenny tells her. 'I haven't seen Spike this happy...ever. You're good for him. You ever need something, don't hesitate, okay?'

When they exit Lenny's Bar, she finds herself and Spike in the back of a dead end part of a town, the kind where an extra space of land leads to nothing, given how buildings around had been built.

"Well." She says, looking around. "This is certainly...somewhere else."

He gives her a look, which makes her struggle to keep a straight face.

"I don't control where Lenny lets out people from his bar, Slayer. But you'll get a better sight soon." He takes her hand as easy as breathing and starts to lead her out of the space. "Been awhile since I've been to Boston, but-"

He pauses and the look on his face puts her instantly into Slayer mode. He had to have heard or smelled something.

"What is it?" She whispers as quietly as she can.

"Girl." He sniffs a bit. "Two of them." He sniffs a bit more, glancing at her. "And a vampire."

She didn't need any more prompting and he knew it as he pulls her forward quickly at a speed that she could only keep up with because of her Slayer abilities. She watches him closely as they run, the look on his face. He was defying everything he had learned over a hundred year span for her, for his love of her, for her love of _him._

"I love you, Spike."

His hand jerks in hers for a moment and he looks at her. The look in his eyes takes her breath away.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The last thing she had expected to find so soon was Faith. The other Slayer (very obviously was the other Slayer still; Buffy's return hadn't affected that any) had been on her mind to look for; she just didn't expect her _now_. Last thing she had wanted to find was a jaded Faith like before, whom had been been through so much (and then more on top of that, having lost a Watcher and who had been through a whole load of trauma's worth before even _becoming_ a Slayer.

This Faith had been through the ringer of life already, but she hadn't yet been traumatized by death and loss just yet. Not yet. She still had a chance at normalcy (for whatever kind of 'normalcy' a Slayer could find) much earlier than her future counterpart had been able to have.

"Slayers? All of this shit...you're not pulling my chain?" Faith asks.

They had made it as far as to where they had come out from Lenny's bar, only to see the entrance no longer there, meaning he had moved it, so they went to the next best place: the nearest graveyard.

So it happened that two Slayers and a Master Vampire were all sitting on headstones, talking about the true nature of the world.

"Nope!" Buffy says, putting a bit of emphasis on the P with a soft pop of her lips. "Vampires, Slayers, demons (both capital and uncapital), witches...you name it. The world is larger and sometimes infinitely more scary than people think. Sometimes."

She reaches over next to her and grabs Spike's hand. It's cold and yet somehow warmer than anyone elses could ever be to her. It was getting increasingly harder to remember a time when she hadn't been with Spike, that they hadn't been together, that they had once fought one another.

"That's another thing," Faith says, a brow raised as she looks at their interlocked hands. "You said Slayers are Called to defeat shit like... _him_ , right?"

"Well, yeah." She says, with a glance to Spike. He seemed interested in the conversation and what they had to say (but he didn't seem at all interested in Faith in an amorous way. Which was good, cause then she'd have to kick a lot of ass and things'd get hella awkward.) "But you should know well that the world isn't cut and dry, that it isn't merely black and white. If it was, it might be easier, yeah. But it'd also be _boring."_

There was more she wanted to say here, but she was also afraid. What would Spike say or do if/when he found out about Buffy's foray back to the past? If it made him no longer trust her, if he came to hate her and left her...it would completely destroy her.

"I used to see the world that way, which is how I know how those- _most,_ but not _all-_ in the Watcher's Council that I told you about, see things. It's easier for them, I guess. But the world isn't easy. Nor is it simple. The ones who learn that best are those who are in thick of things." Buffy continues. "It's something you'll be able to decide, how you see things too, if you want to continue your Calling."

"It's something I can just give up?"

"Well...no, not really. Kinda like our Destiny and all that. But that doesn't mean I haven't tried," Buffy says in a wry tone. "But I'm still around, so if you didn't want to, or don't feel ready...I can handle that burden. I'm...more than used to it." _More than_ _ **either**_ _of you two here know..._ "End of the day, despite what the Council might try and enforce or even my own words to you, what you decide is _your_ decision and no one else can make it but you."

"Power..." Faith mutters, before looking back up at her. At _both_ of them. "Power to...help others. To defeat evil?"

"And power to take control of your own life."

Faith gives her a sharper look at that and Buffy knows the wheels are spinning in Faith's head. Faith was many things, but stupid was not one of them. She may have went more on her instinct (at least initially in her time of knowing her the first time around), but she was also very smart. It was what had led her to being around as long as Buffy had as a Slayer, when all others had died much earlier.

Faith had been many things to Buffy; ally, enemy, then a _true_ friend and a sister to her. It was a bond she hoped to have with her once again. But as she told Faith, the decision was up to Faith and she wouldn't allow anyone (even herself) to try and take that from her; Faith who had up to this point been dealt a shit hand at life. She deserved to be able to make a decision on her own.

The other Slayer stands and moves in front of them both.

"You...Spike, right?" Faith asks him. He nods. "It doesn't bother you, what we do? To be with her, I mean, given what you are."

He's quiet for a moment and she wonders what is going on through his head. It was something they hadn't quite talked about to each other yet, though he hadn't seemed adverse to what she did (he had, after all, helped her catch that killer in the motel.)

"It's not her job," He says finally. "It's who she is. I couldn't take that from her as much as she couldn't take being a vamp from me. And-" He looks at Buffy with a piercing gaze, his blue eyes steeling into her own gaze, looking, questioning, answering. "I would never ask her to be what she isn't. She loves me for _me,_ being myself, despite all the hundreds of terrible things I've done in my life. She doesn't flinch from that. Her kindness and strength only serves to make me love her more. What kind of man would I be, if I asked her to change the deepest parts of herself?"

The only thing that mattered to her, end of the day, was him. That he was _hers_. And, more importantly, that he knew that she was-eternally- _his._

And that nothing ever could, or ever _would,_ change that.

"I love you too, William." She says lowly. "My neck, my heart."

She looks back up to see Faith looking at them with a calculating look on her face, thoughtful, before she hesitantly smiles.

"Where do I sign up?"

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Spike?"

"Yeh?"

"This...it's a lot, I know. And it's certainly something you didn't sign up for. I mean it's one thing being around _me,_ but _another_ Slayer...I can understand if you'd rather..." Even though it hurt to say it, much less to think it.

He's up to her in an instant (whereas moments before he had been lounging in their borrowed motel bed; Faith hadn't said anything about wanting to go home and Buffy certainly wasn't about to push her just yet. She knew enough about Faith's past to know how rough it had been, so they had gotten a couple of motel rooms in a fairly decent part of town and that had been that), one hand hitting the wall beside her. He hadn't yet went into game face, but it was a close thing, with his eyes flickering between gold and blue. She had upset him.

"You're giving me an _out?"_ He growls. And he _does_ go into his vampire visage now, glaring down at her. "If you really think-"

"I don't want you to go." She hisses. "I don't _ever_ want you to..." She looks away for a moment, trying to rein in the emotions that were gathering within her.

"Buffy-"

"I _love_ you. That isn't just a fantasy of a girl who doesn't know any better; I've already had that once, with Angel." She continues on, ignoring the growl from him when she mentions Angel. "And it wasn't real. Not in any way it should have been. He was my first love, but...that's all now. We never had a real relationship, of equals. He never treated me like his equal. It had all been mysterious comings and goings, of secrets. Of...frivilous things, overall. No real substance. I thought it was everything. But that was my naivety. _He_ should have known better, even though I didn't."

She can feel his eyes burning into her skin. "You're...I don't even know how to describe what you are to me, Spike. Because I don't know if I could find the right words for it, like you could write down," She continues, not hearing his small intake of breath at that, at her small admission of knowing more about him than she rightly should. "And because I'm afraid."

Now she looks up at him, with noticeable tears in her eyes. "Afraid that you won't believe me. That you'll think this is just another childish delusion of mine, like it was with Angel. But it's _not_ and I lack what it takes to convince you otherwise. But you're _mine._ You're...all I've waited for. All that I want. All that I lo-"

He kisses her hard and she gasps against his mouth, melting into his embrace as easy as breathing. He peppers her with kisses, asking for forgiveness with his mouth, with low sounds.

"I believe you, pet." He murmurs against her neck and if she was a vampire she'd have purred her contentment at his mouth on her mark he had made. "Believe _me_ then? Believe that I love you. Doesn't matter the amount of time. Just matters that I do. That you love me _."_ He moves from her neck and tips her chin up to look at him.

The fangs were gone and in its place was a smile that would have made her fall in love with him, if she hadn't been so deeply already. Made her realize just how much she loved the him in front of her _now_ as much as the one she had lost.

"I _do_ love you." She says. "And the last thing I want is you to be away from me-or vice-versa-but the Slayer of Slayers helping to _train_ a Slayer is probably the last thing on your list of things you wanna do."

"Depends." And in a blink of an eye, she finds herself one moment against the slightly peeling wallpaper of the motel, to being in his lap on the bed. He moves his arms around her waist, holding her close. She could feel the steely muscle in his arms and nearly sighs with how good she feels in his embrace. "You...the way you've been talkin', makes me think about a few things."

"Like?"

"Like what you think about the world. Good an' evil. What colors shape your world?"

"You mean is my world so cut and dry, black and white, still? Despite what I said to Faith?"

"Yeah." This is said murmured against her as he moves his mouth back to her neck, before moving to set his head on one of her petite shoulders.

"No." How to explain it to him? She didn't like holding secrets from him, but she didn't know how he'd react to who she was. "It's...things have a way of changing your perspective. Being around you like this certainly has already, that things aren't as cut and dry as they might seem on the surface. Working with you against Angelus," _Twice now._ "helped flavor my perception as well. And a lot of other things that changed my mind."

Like seeing the Government putting even the most gentle or innocent of people (Wiccans, witches, demons and vampires even) in the 'Safe Zones' (for their own good, said the Government, which was one of the biggest loads of shit she had ever seen. It had been the Initiative times a thousand.)

"Going to defend myself, of course, but I definitely plan to do things differently than I did before."

"In Sunnydale?"

 _That_ draws her short. "I..."

Fact was she was currently having the time of her life right now with Spike, but she also knew that she couldn't stay away for long. She'd never leave her friends to deal with stuff like the Mayor, Adam, or Glory alone. And despite how much things she had changed already-or would continue to change-some things were near set in stone, at least to a point.

"I have to." She says finally. "I can't leave behind my friends. There are things that are going to happen. ...I've been having Slayer dreams about it."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

She doesn't notice him stiffen at that (it was probably one of the first real out and out lies she had told him), stroking his head gently.

"I won't leave you." He promises her, moving his head up to look at her directly. She looked small and delicate; Death in deceptive clothing. She was beautiful. The swell of emotion he feels in himself for her would have taken his breath away, if he had it to breathe in truth.

What he was feeling for her now threatened to eclipse everything he had ever known.

Or had it already?

He may have just realized recently he was in _love_ with her, but he had known he had been highly attracted to her from the moment he saw her move in the Bronze, the very first time he had seen her. All grace and lightness and that inherant darkness (but not evil) that only The Slayer could give off. He had been the proverbial moth to the flame, even then (though he had denied it to himself until he could deny it no longer.)

She trembles in his arms and he can only wonder what she had been through up to this point (beyond what he knew of her, with Angelus) that she would tremble at her words like she did.

"Promise?" She whispers.

He wondered if he had ever had her, the future him who only existed now in her mind. The demon within him growls, roaring its jealousy against even his own future self. To think that anyone had laid their hands on her but him...

But as he looks at her now, all he sees is her looking at _him._

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I hope that you enjoyed this!

Let me know what you thought!

-PhoenixJustice


	9. Chapter 9

Becoming, Part Three

By: PhoenixJustice

Disclaimer: BTVS is owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and others who are not me. I only own this story and make no profit from this.

Warning: Rated M for graphic sexual content, language, violence, etc.

Pairing: Spike/Buffy Summers, etc.

Setting: In the middle of Becoming, Part Two; possible spoilers for the entire series (including comics.)

Summary: Well. They never said it'd be an _easy_ Reward.

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The new Slayer is a spitfire and she takes to her powers much easier than many might. Still, he can see why Buffy wanted to train her (not that he was _good-_ he was the Big Bad, thank you very much-but he knew what Buffy had in mind, what Buffy _was._ And this bird, Faith, could easily stray from that path if given the wrong direction.)

Outside of being in _love_ with a Slayer, _training_ one had to be right up there with the weirdest experience of his life (and he had lived through the sixties.)

"Again."

Faith looks up at him from her place on the ground where she was half kneeling, sweat visible on her brow as she brushes some hair out of her eyes.

"Again? Been at it awhile already, big guy." Faith says, obviously trying to sound flippant where it was obvious she was getting tired.

He glances over at Buffy, who watches the exchange silently, but with obvious interest. He hadn't been sure just how she wanted to do things early on (they had been at this for a solid couple of weeks now, with them all continuing to stay at a local motel in town. He hadn't run out of money just yet, but he would soon. He wondered what Buffy would think of him nicking some money from someone...) but she had laid out her intentions for him quiet clearly when he finally asks her.

 _'We_ _ **could**_ _teach her both at once," Buffy says, after getting out of a quick shower. She was only clad in a towel-yet to put on any clothes-and he was fighting the urge to grab her and shag her senseless against the wall. She_ _ **had**_ _to know what she did to him. "But I think that would be a bit_ _ **too**_ _confusing. Right now, anyhow. I think-provided our fighting styles and ideals aren't_ _ **too**_ _far apart (and I don't think they are) then I'd like to do some switch training. Me one day, you the next, and so on and so forth. It'd keep her on her toes_ _ **enough**_ _, without overly confusing her. I think, anyway."_

 _She looks so adorable, in look and tone at that last bit spoken, that slight question, that he can't help but move over to her, tilting her chin to look up at him (though the distance wasn't great.) She was all perfumed; lavender and coconut and that unexplainable scent that made Buffy_ _ **Buffy.**_

 _"Sounds good to me, pet. But first..."_

 _He yanks off the towel and she squeals, laughing, as he gathers her up in his arms-_

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He circles around Faith, predator in every body movement, every look in his eyes. He was the great jungle cat on the prowl, every inch the ultimate predator. And Buffy wasn't sure if she could want him more. It had always been something that set her aflame (though it had taken her ages to ever admit that fact, even to herself.)

" _Again."_ He repeats to Faith, eyes never leaving her form on the ground.

They had been at it for hours by now. Faith had never complained about the rigorous training, nor showed any real sort of tiredness, until now. Which made sense to Buffy as she knew Faith to be the best Slayer beside herself (which really sounded all kinds of egotistical-and to be fair, in some ways, it was-but it was also true _._ ) No other Slayer after Buffy and Faith had ever managed to match up to their skill, for whatever reason (though she was particularly fond of Billy as a Slayer. She'd have to try and look him up in a few years, just to make sure he would be alright.)

But this was also the first time they had ever had a session that had lasted _this_ long in one day, without a break especially and it was finally showing on the new Slayer's face, her expression.

He kicks out at Faith without warning and she just barely manages to move away quick enough from it being a hard blow in her side (it still grazes her though, making her grimace with pain.)

"Is that all you've got, _Slayer?"_ He says, sneering down at Faith. She tries her own kick, lashing out at him, which he sidesteps easily.

"I'm _tired."_ Faith says, bitingly.

Spike's eyes narrow before he is like lightning, grabbing her by the throat, moving like lightning as he pushes her up against a wall.

"Be sure to tell that to the next vampire who has you at his mercy," He hisses. "I'm sure he'll show you the same _courtesy_ that I am."

Faith lets out a bit of a choking sound, struggling a bit, striking out at his arms (her weakened limbs obviously dulling some of her Slayer strength.) But Buffy wouldn't intervene. Not yet.

"I can't-" Faith chokes out.

She looks over at Buffy, a bit of fear in her gaze, but Buffy only looks at her steadily. It hurt to do so, but it was also necessary. Faith had to learn. And while Buffy loved Giles more than even her own biological father, some of his lessons wouldn't work here. Not in the same way. Some things had to be done harder, quicker. And who better to help with that then a Master level vampire? Who else had better experience than Spike, who had fought and killed two Slayers?

"You _can."_ Spike replies back, his British voice even and calm as he holds her in place. Buffy was sure he wouldn't let it get too far (She trusted him, after all. It only gives her a very brief moment of pause now. She trusts him completely, this Spike, who hadn't seen and done the things that the Spike she had previous known had done, not to a certain degree anyhow.)

"Nothing out there," He says, gesturing with his other hand, obviously talking about the outside world. "will give you the time that you want. You have to think on your toes Faith, if you want to survive. It's what Buffy learned and it's what _you_ will learn; if you want to live longer than the previous Slayers before the two of you. Adapt or die."

A fire seems to light in Faith's eyes then and she lets out a loud yell, headbutting Spike hard. He lets out a pained growl, but it gets him to let go of her, taking a step back. She uses that minute space to push at him enough so she can _kick_ him farther away. She then comes at him with a series of furious blows, fast and strong (and so like the Faith that Buffy knew that it takes her breath away. This was the Faith Lehane that Buffy knew. Obviously not with the same set of memories and experience, but the passion and the fire and everything else that came with it? That was all Faith.)

They trade blow for blow and the fatigue continues to show on Faith's face, but she doesn't let it keep her down. She actually uses it to her advantage, using her own slowing body in certain places where Spike wants to strike her, letting her get out of the way instead of absorbing the blow, by bending back or leaning forward enough.

It finally ends when, after a particularly hard kick to the face, Faith is sent skidding onto the floor. Spike leans over her, vampire visage coming over his face.

"I win." He says in his slightly changed voice, as it always did when going into game face, near her neck.

"So do I." Faith says, breathlessly.

He glances down to see a stake at his chest, abruptly coming into laughter. He pulls back, nodding. "Good job, ducks. You're getting better at this."

"You think so?" Faith asks, but it was obvious she was asking both of them, as she looks at Buffy too after she says this.

Buffy nods, smiling, ignoring the slight pang in her chest. She walks over to Faith finally, extending a hand.

"Definitely." She reassures her, with Faith taking her outstretched hand to pull herself up. "Now there's one more thing for you to do."

"Yeah?" Faith asks, though she was obviously exhausted now.

"Get some rest."

Faith lets out a startled laugh. "I think I can do that better than anything else I did today."

After a small weary wave to both, she leaves the room (they had taken to renting a room in a local YMCA to train. It was in the basement and away from anyone else, so they were left well enough alone. And after Buffy and Spike had taken care of a local ghoul problem, the owner of the place had been _more_ than happy enough to rent it out to them for free.)

Spike takes a seat atop the pommel horse that had been set up near one of the walls (it was a good way to test balance and coordination; it was something Buffy still practiced with near daily, to keep up her skills) while she moves back to lean against the wall she had been against moments before.

"She's a quick learner." Buffy remarks.

"That she is." Spike says, stretching his legs out, looking a bit fatigued (he had been fighting for hours too, after all) but pleased nonetheless. It gives her not so pleasant feelings seeing it and she does her best to ignore it. "Little spitfire. Not many can go that many rounds before getting that fatigued."

Buffy smiles (hoping it didn't look like the grimace she was feeling), nodding.

"I really think she has what it takes." Buffy says. And this, despite the jealousy she was feeling otherwise, was definitely something that made her glad. Faith certainly had the skills; she just hoped Faith would want to keep up with it. "She-"

She stops speaking when Spike abruptly moves off of the pommel horse and comes walking her way, completely silent. He looks thoughtful, but speaks no words as he comes to stand in front of her.

"Spike?" She asks, confused. "What-!"

She lets out a gasp as he picks her up, holding her closely in his arms.

"What-Spike?! Hey! Let me down!"

She nudges him with her elbow but he ignores her. He didn't seem spellbound or anything, but his silence was really starting to worry her. He sets her down on the pommel horse, looking down at her with a startling intensity.

"Sp-"

He leans in, kissing her deeply. She gasps but kisses back, melting into him. His tongue invades her mouth with a silky smoothness, making them both groan against one another as their mouths meet again and again. It's only when she is starting to get short of air that he pulls away from her mouth with a slight wet popping sound.

She looks up at him, brows furrowed.

"Spike-"

"Don't be jealous, pet." He strokes her cheek gently, his eyes bright as he looks at her.

She flushes scarlet. "I'm _not_ jealous." At his raised brow she continues reluctantly. "It's...look it's _nothing_ , it's just...it's stupid."

"I love you, Buffy."

The way he says it, as easy as breathing... The way he looks at her now, all soft eyes that still somehow managed to be filled with an inner fire... He didn't often say her name (usually he'd call her a pet name-including pet-or call her Slayer) so when he did, it always seemed to be in moments held in much deeper meaning, importance.

"William." She says softly. "I love you too."

He sucks in a breath at that, holding the back of her neck to pull her into another kiss. It was gentler than almost any other kiss they had ever had. She can almost palpably _feel_ his love poured into it.

They finally pull back from one another and after another quick stroke of her face, he steps back, moving to go and grab his duster from where he had sat it down, pulling it on with a few quick motions, not noticing as something falls out of it.

"Oh, wait, Spike you dropped-"

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

He freezes as he hears her tone change, seeing the expression on her face move from one to confusion to one of...fear?

It's quiet for a long moment and he half wonders if she is going to speak again. Or if she is going to try and explain it away. But...no, the look on her face changes to one of near resignation.

"Where did you get this?" She breathes.

He feels something unclench in him at that. It could finally all be out in the open now. He didn't blame her for keeping it hidden, but he had desperately wanted to know her motives of why. Did she think he would stop caring about her or something to that effect if he had known? A mystery, her thoughts; one he hoped to solve now.

"Got bored waiting, and didn't have my smokes, so I started to pick some stuff up. It's when I saw it." He says, nodding his head at the paper she was holding in her hands.

She looks at him again, this time with fear naked in her eyes.

"Buffy-"

" _I love you."_ She says with an almost desperation in her tone. "I promise you that I do."

"Buffy."

"I didn't know what time I would be coming back to, but-"

" _Buffy!"_ He barks in a loud tone, making her flinch in surprise. He softens immediately. He walks over to her, gathering her trembling limbs into his arms. So soft and warm, his girl, he thinks. And wanting love just as much as he wanted it. They fit each other in ways he could only scarcely comprehend, even now, as learned as he was, as much as he had come to learn about _her._

"I know that you love me." He says gently, taking her face in his hands. "When I knew that you did, I never doubted it, you understand me, Slayer?"

She nods, tears in her eyes. "I can't remember a time when I didn't love you, Spike. I know it, but it seems so long ago to me that I don't _want_ to remember that time. The things I've seen...the things I've done...all of that, no matter how hard or what struggle I had to go through...it was worth it the moment I saw your face again."

"Buffy?" He asks her softly.

"Yes?"

"Tell me about everything?"

She starts to open her mouth to speak again but he interupts her. "At your own pace, luv. As much as you want to tell me. I wanna hear whatever you want to tell me, good or bad."

"Even if it's about you?" She asks.

He pauses, then shrugs a shoulder slightly. "Yeh. Been tryingmy best to ignore any jealousy though, even before I realized you were a Buffy from a time past my own."

"Jealousy?" She inquires, brows furrowing. "Of Angel?"

He nods, hugging her close. She burrows deeper into his embrace and he can feel some of the tension leave her when he holds her close again. They both had, for varying and different reasons, a huge need for affection and love. Not that others didn't of course, but the both of them had been through things in such a way where they both constantly felt the need to feel the other, to hold them close, to remember and know that they were there, with them, and that nothing could tear them apart.

"Of Angel. Or if there had been any after. And me," He admits. "Of myself."

She pulls back enough to look at him, brow raised. He shrugs again, letting out an unneeded breath.

"I don't want to think of anyone ever having you, being with you, _loving_ you, but me. Doesn't matter if it's my sodding Grandsire or even my own future self. Anyone that's not _me-"_ His jaw clenches and he looks away, trying to will away the rush of adrenaline that comes with the thought.

For anyone to have Buffy, to know the touch of her soft skin, to hear her words of love peppered against their skin as she kisses down it? It was that, more than even bloodlust, that was hard to handle, that made him have to pull tightly down on his self-control (a self-control which people didn't give him enough credit for having. If he didn't, well, things probably would have been much different, before he ever found himself in the Slayer's bed and in her heart.)

He jumps slightly when he feels her warm touch on his face now and turns his eyes to look at her. His breath catches. The look in her eyes...there was no equal. A person would walk on hot coals, would climb the highest peaks, would do anything in the _world_ for that look.

"I don't deserve you," He says hoarsely. "But I'll spend every moment of my life making you forget that fact."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Tell me, Buffy?"

"What do you want to know?" She asks, softly.

"Everything."

"Alright."

And so she does.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I hope you enjoyed this!

Let me know what you thought!

-PhoenixJustice


	10. Chapter 10

Becoming, Part Three

By: PhoenixJustice

Disclaimer: BTVS is owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and others who are not me. I only own this story and make no profit from this.

Warning: Rated M for graphic sexual content, language, violence, etc.

Pairing: Spike/Buffy Summers, etc.

Setting: In the middle of Becoming, Part Two; possible spoilers for the entire series (including comics.)

Summary: Well. They never said it'd be an _easy_ Reward.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

He pulls back, looking at her with rising horror in his eyes.

"How could you _ever_ let me touch you?" He whispers hauntingly. He swallows, head shaking. "Buffy, I-"

"Did you not hear about the after?" She asks, just as softly. He flinches at her touch, soft as it is, that is on his cheek. "Spike...the man that you were after that moment, even the man you were _before_ , none of those men were there in that brief moment. That moment happened and it couldn't be changed. But it was over. Any lingering doubt or anger or sadness, I left that. I _chose_ to leave that. That was me and my strength. There are no victims in this story. Not anymore."

"So I...got a soul, to atone." He couldn't seem to look at her now.

"You got a soul for a lot of reasons." She tells him gently, continuing to stroke his face with gentle hands. "That was one of them, yes. But when you came back, we forged a real bond and you became more to me than anyone else ever had been. Things I hadn't let you be before that moment, you became then. But Spike..."

She waits patiently, until the moments pass and he finally looks up at her. She's startled, as she always is, by the utter blue of his eyes, the expression in them. He was the most expressive person she had ever known. Even back when she hadn't wanted to think, to acknowledge anything about him. It was like she had known, even back then, that he would be the end game for her. But not as another notch on his Slayer killing belt, but that he would be the greatest love she'd ever know.

It had scared her. So greatly that she threw away all feelings related to it, thrust them all into the role of indifference or hate or disgust, instead of letting herself feel. Feeling guilty for not loving Angel the way she loved Spike, feeling scared of the depth of feeling that she felt at the very first sight of him, behind the Bronze, wanting to ignore the feeling of surprising hurt at his words, that he had been there to kill her and not that he hadn't felt that instant feeling of utter attraction and love even.

But those things, those feelings, both mixed and not, were not things that held her back any longer. She was far past the point of ignoring what she felt for him. And in this moment, now, she loved him more than even she had once thought possible, that her feelings now could somehow eclipse the depth of them back then, astounded her.

"I love you." She says simply. "With or without. It would give you guilt and would give you other things, but it wouldn't give you love. You're so full of that already," Her hand touches his chest, hearing him take in a sharp breath despite his not needing it, half surprised she couldn't feel the steady beat of his heart, for he had more heart than anyone she had ever known. "I don't need you to do that. I don't need fame or fortune or the admiration of others. Whether I'm loved or hated by others...in the end, I don't need that either. Whether the world turns harsh or loving, I can deal with either of those. As long as you're by my side."

"With or without." He breathes.

"With or without." She agrees, smiling through the tears that had long since started falling down her cheeks.

He reaches for her, hands on her shoulders as he brings his forehead to touch against hers.

"It's a promise, Slayer." He says hoarsely, ignoring his own tears even as he kisses hers away. "I promise I won't ever let you be without me."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"You know you'll need to go back soon." He tells her quietly, kissing her bare shoulder softly.

She looks at him solemnly. "I know. _We'll_ need to go back soon." She stresses that word, we'll, just enough that it makes him smile, stroking her face. "Plus, we're kinda out of money."

He laughs softly at that, thumb stroking her cheek. "Well, I could take care of _that_ part easily enough, Slayer."

"True, but I'm not looking to bail you out of a jail if they pick you up again and-do they even have paddy wagons anymore?"

He laughs louder this time and she smacks his shoulder, pouting. "No making fun of a Buffy who wants to learn." Her eyes darken and his body tightens in response to it. "Buffy loves to learn."

She reaches between them, touching his rapidly hardening cock, making him bite back a sudden groan.

"I love a learning Buffy."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"I know I didn't do the right thing, Rupert." Joyce says, handing over a cup of tea. They had lately taken to having a chat, sometimes long, sometimes short, after a 'Scooby meeting.' It had been-and still was in many ways-a lot to take in. To hear the truth of the world and to no longer bury her head in the sand at it.

"You were in shock." He replies softly, blowing a bit on the hot tea before taking a sip, eyes closing in pleasure. "Ahh, the Darjeeling. You have a good hand with the tea, Joyce."

"Thank you." She takes a sip of her own, still looking troubled.

"As I was saying. You were in shock. As were we all, in different ways. It was not right of me to raise my voice to you."

"Wasn't it? You've been a better parent to Buffy-to the other children, even-than I have lately. I've refused to see Buffy, even during the times when she tried in her own way to let me know. But I wouldn't let her," Joyce says bitterly. "Yet another reason I can't forgive myself. I should have listened to Hank back then, about it."

"Hank...?" Giles asks. He knew she was referring to her ex-husband, of course, but he didn't understand the context of her statement just now.

"Buffy...she actually tried to tell me and her father about the supernatural things out there once before." Joyce confesses. She looked terribly guilty. "I hadn't been the best back then; the strain of my and Hank's marriage had me extremely stressed out. But even that isn't an excuse for what my actions when Buffy talked to us then. "We had her committed."

Giles eyes widen in shock. And instantly a vision of Buffy when he first meets her comes to mind. Suddenly her actions and words back then reveal a much deeper, more layered, more mature point of view than simply a girl who wanted to just go on dates and the like. She had an actual reason behind which caused her to want normalcy very much.

"You..." He whispers. He felt absolutely horrified. Both at Joyce and Hank's actions as well as even his own, though he didn't know Buffy's situation about that until now, it made him feel even less, in the way he had treated her in the beginning.

"I'm not asking for your forgiveness. Or hers even." Joyce says. "Just that I wanted someone to...understand, I suppose. To get it off of my chest." She swirls around her tea now in her hand, no longer drinking from it. "Hank was against doing it, at first, but I browbeat him into it. Hank was no saint in our marriage, certainly; but neither was I."

She looks up at Giles now, a slight film of tears in her eyes. She both looked older and younger to him then. She seemed a wise woman who had seen and done many things in many years as well as a young woman who merely wanted to do what she thought was right, to find her place in the world. She reminded him-or he supposed it was the other way around-of Buffy, in many ways.

"So after that, she kept to herself."

"Yes. When all that trouble happened in her school...I thought it was all my fault. I thought it was her way of rebelling or lashing out or just...attention, I suppose. I'm not really sure just what I thought of it then. By then, me and Hank's marriage was over and I knew I needed a new start as much as Buffy did. Now I know the situation was much different." Tears fall down her eyes now. "My baby was protecting the world, wasn't she?"

"Yes."

"Even though Hank and I had sent her away."

"Yes."

"Even though it had to be so much pressure on her shoulders, alone."

"Yes." He repeats. He had tears in his eyes now, but he ignores them.

"I want her home, Rupert."

"As do I, Joyce." He extends his hand, covering her shaky one with his own. His heart was still too tender from the loss of Jenny to think in an amorous way, but certainly friendship filled his heart now. He had finally begun to understand the woman, Joyce Summers. She was lovely. "I promise I will see her back home to you."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"So what's Sunnydale like? You haven't said much about the place."

"Smaller than Boston." Buffy says, idly grabbing some of the clothes she had yet to put away in her and Spike's suitcases. Faith had arrived early, after Buffy had called her over. She looked eager. Though it was still early yet in her training, Buffy had to have faith (pun not intended? Intended? She always got that sort of stuff confused) that things with Faith would go better this time around. "But on a Hellmouth. We explained those to you, remember?"

"Hell-or Hell dimensions, whatever-spitting out all sorts of nasty shit," Faith says, sitting on the side of the bed, watching Buffy as she continues to put stuff away. "Or calling stuff to it. Very magical and powerful."

"Yep," Buffy says. She closes the suitcases and turns to look at Faith more directly now. "So you'll see all kinds drawn to it; vampires, demons (Capital D ones and regular ones), and all sorts of other magical things. Humans can be drawn to it too. There's another one in Cleveland, but it's much smaller and isn't very active. It's still on my to-do list to shut down at some point though."

"They can be shut down?" Faith asks interestedly.

"Not easily, no." Buffy tells her. "But I've...learned a few things, over time."

There's a moment of silence between them, then Faith speaks.

"I'd guess so, given you've been around for probably longer than I've been alive." Faith says blandly.

Buffy stares at her in shock.

"Or...roundabouts, I imagine, right? I'm not stupid, B; you're strong but I don't think any Slayer would have as much knowledge as you, in the _ways_ you do, unless they've been around a long time."

Buffy lets out a soft chuckle. "I forget how smart you actually are, sometimes. Everyone looks at your hard exterior and they expect a berserker, but you're always thinking."

"You sound like you know from experience." Faith says.

Buffy smiles. "I am. I do. I mean, you said it yourself, right? Because you are right. I wasn't trying to hide it from you, necessarily. I just didn't know how to say it. I mean even Spike only found out recently."

"Say it." Faith says. "For the shits and giggles. It's words I never thought I'd ever hear-and them be true."

Buffy chuckles again.

"I'm from the future."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"That explains a lot." Faith remarks, after Buffy talks to her about a lot of things. "And wow, going through all that Hell-literally-again just for the chance to _see_ Spike again? You and Spike...you're made for each other. You're always looking at each other in a way that...well, not everyone else expects to be a real life thing."

Buffy nods. "I know. But after everything I've been through, I made a promise to myself. Well a few, actually. But the main one was that I would never _not_ be true to my feelings again. That I would show Spike the love that I should have done a long, long time ago (from my perspective.) He's..." She swallows against the lump of emotion in her throat.

"In love with you."

She jumps in surprise, turning to see Spike in the doorway. Without another thought, she steps forward, into his arms.

"I love you too." She murmurs.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Are you sure you're okay to do this?" Buffy asks Faith, her head turned to look at Faith who is sitting in the backseat of the rented car.

"No problem." Faith says, easily. Though Buffy knows that heading back home, even briefly, probably wasn't easy on Faith, given the nature of Faith's mother. "Just grabbing and some stuff and I'll be ready to go. She'll probably _help_ get me out of the house quicker."

"Right." Buffy says, uneasily. She wanted to go in with Faith but at the same time, she wanted to give Faith her space to do what she needed to do. "Well, we'll be here and-"

"Wait," Spike says suddenly. "Look, Slayer."

Buffy turns, as does Faith. They had nearly made it to Faith's house but Spike had slowed down, then stopped, pointing at a car that was parked in the front of Faith's house. It looked far too expensive, far too _posh_ for the neighborhood and Buffy stills when she notices some of the people in the car.

"Duck, Faith." She hisses.

"What is it, Slayer?" "What's up?" Spike and Faith both ask simultaneously.

"I recognize some of them. I should have expected this, I guess. They're from the Watcher's Council."

"Some of those old assholes who were giving you grief?" Faith asks.

"Not _all_ of them are assholes," Buffy says. "Well like, ninety eight percent of them are, but yeah. Those are the guys. I guess they found you sooner than I expected them to. They'd...train you well. I mean-"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Faith says, glaring at Buffy. "You really think I'd want to go with them? They'd cramp my style, B. You know I'm not going anywhere."

Buffy can't help but smile at that. "I figured. Just...good to hear it, I suppose."

"So where to, then? Cause I don't have anything that important that I need to get there." Faith says, jerking her head toward the house.

Buffy turns to Spike. "What do you think Lenny is up to?"

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"You are _incompetent!"_ thunders Travers, making the Watcher on the other end wince. "How hard is it to find one girl-especially with the magic you have been given to do so?!"

"She's not here, sir." The Watcher says weakly. "We did all we could. Perhaps something is interfering with-"

"Then _discover_ what the interference is and find her!" Travers shouts. He was a calm man, normally, where others could see. But his temper could run hot when he didn't have to put on airs. "The last thing we need is another Slayer out of our control, like Summers!"

"Yes, sir." The Watcher says. Privately he felt that the current Slayer was doing a fine job. She had stopped The Master, an extremely old vampire that had killed countless in his many, many years and had stopped Angelus and Acathla both. She had to be very skilled to do those things, even if she had help in any way (a Slayer having help was something he knew that Travers absolutely loathed. The more the Slayer was involved with others, the less they could be controlled. And he knew that Travers hated lack of control over all other things.)

He hoped wherever this new Slayer, Faith, was now, she'd run into Buffy Summers sooner rather than later.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"I don't get it," Willow says, biting idly on her pencil. "The tracking spells I've done...I mean I'm no big power or anything, but I thought they'd give us _something."_

She didn't expect a response, as Oz often didn't, but just his presence there was reassuring. He seems to be focused on a book, but she also knows that he was listening to everything she had to say. He was good at that.

"Maybe I should try to refine it? But I don't know how I should do that? Maybe with Mrs. Summers again? Oh, but that didn't get anywhere. I think I need to get a bit more power to do that spell. Blood magic seems kinda iffy?"

"It's powerful." Oz remarks finally.

"You're right. You're _right,"_ Willow says. She turns to look at Oz, smiling, who looks up from his book and smiles back at her. "There's _two_ Slayers out there now. The spell is designed to track down a Slayer, but there's _two._ Which means the spell doesn't know where to look. But if I put more power in it and _deliberately_ have it look for both Slayers, it should work! Thank you, Oz! You always know what to say."

"No problem."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Faith gets her first real glimpse of a demon, as she meets Lenny (Cursed into his demon or not) and is horribly amused at just how he became a demon, laughing openly at his story. It was good to see. Buffy wanted to continue to show her the world, the grayness of the world. To see a Faith who had not been so totally beaten down by life. She didn't want Faith to have to come from that before finding her own place in the world. Buffy had the tools this time, to help her. And she would definitely do that.

"See them both laughing at us?" Lenny says to Spike, handing him another whiskey sour. "I don't know how you've dealt with _two_ Slayers!"

"They're laughing at _you,_ Len, not me." Spike says, taking a large drink. "And I'm not _dealing_ with anything-don't let them hear you say that!"

He looks mock horrified, eyes wide as he looks over at Buffy and Faith, which makes Buffy laugh and Faith roll her eyes.

"Seriously though, thanks for the lift." Buffy tells Lenny, patting his hand. "This saves us _so_ much trouble."

"Not a problem. Told you I'd help you whenever I could, Buffy," Lenny says sincerely. "Wish I could do more. But for the time being..."

"You ever thought of leaving and confronting the guy?" Faith asks him.

"Confront him?" Lenny says, horrified. "But what if he did something to me? I took enough of a chance leaving as briefly as I did decades ago, when I ran into Spike the first time around. I-"

"I don't think he meant to kill you though," Faith insists. "If he was powerful enough to Curse you or whatever, even without being able to _see_ you, then I'm sure he could have killed you if he wanted to. But he didn't do that. Obviously he had some sort of reason."

Lenny pauses, then looks over at Buffy.

Buffy smirks. "I told you she was smart."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"You held up well, old girl." Spike says, rubbing the front of the DeSoto after they get dropped off by Lenny back into the desert between L.A. and Sunnydale.

"I always thought it was a boy." Buffy says, eyeing the car.

"You think so? I always thought-"

"Can you two do your flirting on the way? It's hot out here."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The _Welcome to Sunnydale!_ sign comes into vivid technicolar focus as does the sound of screeching tires as a large, black, car hits the sign head on, knocking it onto the ground.

The car comes to halt and the drivers side door opens. Out walks a man, all swagger and smirks. He looks around for a moment, before his eyes stop to look at something.

Said something smiles at him, shaking her head. "You gotta say it, Spike. It's kinda your thing."

He chuckles at that, at Buffy. He looks at her when he speaks:

"Home sweet home."

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I hope you enjoyed this!

Let me know what you thought!

-PhoenixJustice


	11. Chapter 11

Becoming, Part Three

By: PhoenixJustice

Disclaimer: BTVS is owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and others who are not me. I only own this story and make no profit from this.

Warning: Rated M for graphic sexual content, language, violence, etc.

Pairing: Spike/Buffy Summers, etc.

Setting: In the middle of Becoming, Part Two; possible spoilers for the entire series (including comics.)

Summary: Well. They never said it'd be an _easy_ Reward.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

There wasn't much in life that surprised him any longer. After seeing the world, in both its best and its worst, in seeing the various forms of life, in seeing how the world _truly_ was, not much surprised him. In becoming a Watcher, especially after, not much surprised him afterwards, because he had already seen so much.

But he was fairly certain this was the first time he'd seen a literal portal from Hell (or a Hell-dimension. There were several, after all) spit out a naked, shivering, man into the rain.

And even more surprising than that (if that were possible)...he recognized the person.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

It was quiet on the way to Revello; all could feel the tenseness in the air. The ease in which they had all travelled, even up to Sunnydale's welcome sign, was no longer around. The tension emanated almost completely from one person in their group, which was no surprise to any of them (much less her.)

"So..." She finally says, dispelling the silence that had been around them for minutes. "Anyone else get the _sudden_ urge to run away and never look back? Anyone?"

"Slayer-" "Buffy-" Spike and Faith say at nearly the same time.

She sighs, shoulders tense. "I know, I know. It's just... _look,_ I _don't_ feel sorry for my time alone with you Spike. You _know_ I don't. I love you more than any word can do justice to. And I'm so happy I could find you Faith and we could connect like this in a way that I couldn't with your future counterpart, especially this early. But...I also hate disappointment. What do I say to them? More than that, what is there to say in _general?_ How do I even begin to explain..."

"You're not alone here, luv." Spike tells her, grabbing onto her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "You'll never be alone, so long as 'm here. You know that. This is just a small bit to get through. You'll see. And if they don't like it, they can shove off. And we'll go somewhere else."

"Right." Faith agrees. "You said Cleveland was another Hellmouth, right? Smaller or whatever, but I'm sure the people there still'd be happy to see a couple Slayers and a wayward vampire do their thing there."

Buffy lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding and feels a lot of her tense feelings leave her body. They were right. And it felt good, _more_ than good, to know that she'd always have at least two people who had her back no matter what.

"You're right. Both of you. Thank you." She tells them sincerely. She squares her shoulders. "Alright, let's do this then. Bring it on, people."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Coming back to a _party_ , of all things, was the last thing that she expected. Well, party might be a bit of a stretch, in certain terms, but it was certainly a _social gathering._ The people gathered there all look up in shock. Xander stands up, eyes wide, not noticing that his pizza was sliding off of the paper plate in his slack hand.

"Buffy!" He exclaims, around a mouthful of what must be more pizza. "It's Buffy!"

"And Spike!" Willow exclaims, though this was spoken with a bit of fear.

"And a stranger." Oz remarks, much more mildly than the other two.

"Buffy!" Joyce exclaims, immediately dropping her food and coming over to her. If she is afraid at all of Spike or anything else, she doesn't show it, as she immediately embraces her daughter.

Buffy swallows against a lump of emotion in her throat, hugging her mother back, taking care not to bruise her with her much greater strength. Of all the things she had imagined when coming back, this was nothing like she imagined. For one, she imagined a scolding or two immediately.

Also, less pizza.

And Giles _socializing_ and eating pizza with the others.

"Hi, mom." She squeaks out.

Joyce pulls back, visible tears in her eyes. "Honey, are you alright? We've all been worried sick about you! I'm going to ground you for fifty years, but let it be known it's all done in love."

Buffy lets out a choked laugh.

"It's fine. _I'm_ fine. _More_ than fine. It's...complicated." She shares a brief look with Spike who looked rather bemused at the whole situation as well, while Faith looked more amused than anything (and a bit wistful at Joyce's obvious love for Buffy, which Faith had never been able to share with her own mother.) "But it's good! We just...with everything...had to get away for a bit."

"You're sure you're fine?" Giles pipes up, coming over now, giving a not quite glare at Spike.

" _Yes._ I mean, look it's complicated, like I said. But you know I'm not under a thrall, since Spike doesn't have that kind of power-" "Hey!" "-so you know I'm here with my own mind and all that."

"We?" Willow asks, showing part of the reason she was one of the most smart people in the group. Even in the midst of excitement, she still noticed a small detail like that.

" _We."_ Buffy affirms. "But hey, is there something I'm missing? What's up with the party?"

"Not a party. We just started adding more food and drink to Scooby meetings." Xander says. "And hey, little miss leaves town, what's up with the _we?"_

"What's up with not telling me that Willow was putting Angel's soul back into his body?" Buffy retorts back, cheekily.

Xander's eyes widen in surprise.

"I mean, it still ended up being too late. _Again._ But yeah. I know you're not on the liking Angel wagon, but hey, not all things that are _dark_ are _evil._ You're one of my best friends and I consider you a _brother_ and nothing more, Xander Harris. I get the need to look after me, but no more of that, okay?"

Everyone's jaw's couldn't have dropped any further.

"But why is Spike here?" Willow asks.

"Part of that whole _we_ thing." Buffy says. She steps back to grab onto Spike's hand, squeezing it. He smiles at her. "Cause you know, me having to take out Angel was _very_ not fun. Again, especially. But it was all worth it to see Spike again. I...waited a long time for it."

"And again, I say with the...huh?" Xander says.

"She's a time traveller." Faith and Oz say at the same time.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Excuse me?" Joyce says.

"I'm sorry, miss...?" Giles starts.

"Faith. Faith Lehane."

"Miss Lehane. I don't know how much of the world you might think you know, but it-"

"She's the new Slayer, Giles." Buffy tells him.

That gives Giles considerable pause. "You're sure?"

"A hundred percent. I knew her from before." Buffy says, amused now, her previous anxiety before getting here having gone. "Plus her skills and strength would show you that as well."

"But- _time travel._ " Giles says. "There might be very powerful forces out there, but something like time travel has never been proven to be-"

"What if it came from an Emissary of the Powers?" Buffy says, omitting the fact that it was a future version of Cordelia, because if she said that she knew they'd _never_ believe the truth then.

"Well-" Giles stutters.

"The future?" Joyce whispers, falling back into the chair behind her.

"But how did you guess that?" Willow asks Oz.

Oz shrugs, in the easy way he usually did. "Her eyes. They're old eyes."

"They've seen the world." Spike says.

Oz looks at him and they have a surprisingly connected moment, nodding at each other.

"And no, it's just me," Buffy tells them all. "Me who came back, I mean. If that's what you're wondering. Well...I'm sure you're wondering a _lot_ of things, of course. But that...yeah. Just me."

 _Just me. But I cannot say that I am alone. Not anymore._

"But why? Why come back?" is the question that her mother finally asks, looking up. "And when? I came ready to give you a good scolding for leaving but...more than that. And before you speak again...Buffy." Joyce looks up at her from her position in the chair. "I'm sorry."

Buffy's eyes widen. "Huh? Sorry for-"

"I should never have snapped at you like that. You're...important to the world." Joyce says. "But more than that, something I should never have lost sight of, even in shock, is that you're most important to _me._ You're my daughter and I love you. It doesn't matter if you're from here now or the future, if you're old or young, or whatever form you might take. You're my child and I love you and I'm sorry."

"Mom." Buffy chokes out.

She stands there for a moment, eyes closed, feeling Spike's reassuring presense next to her, feeling Faith's reassuringly friendly hand on her back, before letting out a breath, opening her eyes.

" _Thank you."_ She tells her mother. "That means more to me than I can say. As for the rest...I'll tell you all what I can."

"About why you came back?"

"That?" Buffy laughs. "That's the easy part. Why does someone do what could be the most scary thing in the world? For love, of course."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"You're on the next plane to Sunnydale."

"Sir?"

"You heard me." Travers says, gruffly. "I don't like Rupert Giles' evasion and smart talk. It's time he learned a swift lesson. I should not have to tell you how much is on the line for _you_ in this, do I?"

"No, sir." Is the weak but immediate reply.

"Good. That will be all."

"But sir," He hesitantly says. "About the new Slayer?"

"That will be taken care of. Now will that be all, Mr. Wyndam-Pryce, or do you have anything else to interrupt with?"

"No, sir."

"Then that will be _all."_

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Getting the naked vampire up off the pavement and out of the rain hadn't been an easy task. He might be fairly strong, by vanilla human standards, he didn't have super strength. It makes him have to evoke one of his held spells, giving him a boost of strength that might not put him on par with the Slayer, but would have put him at least on the level of a decently strengthed vampire.

Provided he didn't have to do any sort of fighting (the portal had closed once the vampire had been spat out of it and hadn't brought anything with him), then doing this should be alright. He'd be a bit weak once the spell ran its course, but good sleep and food would put that right.

Luckily for the both of them, this time of night wasn't populated and the area wasn't populated much anyhow (something he had been looking for when buying the house he had settled on.) And Mariposa was a well trained dog who would follow him without him having to pull at her leash.

With the extra strength and speed brought by the held spell, he gets back to his place in mere minutes, despite the long trail he had come from. Long walks at night were both for giving Mariposa and himself a good workout and making sure nothing... _off_...was around the area.

Self-retired Watcher he might be, but that didn't mean he'd ever close his eyes to the truth of the world. Especially after...

He gets the vampire inside and settles him carefully on his bed, the largest space he could easily lay him, getting a few things from his bathroom after he does so. He quickly checks him for any obvious scrapes or wounds but doesn't find anything that looks extra threatening. The vampire looks very pale though-paler than one would expect, even for a vampire. If not for the vampire looking robust still, he'd have said from the paleness that he had been starving.

Still, there are a few minor abrasions here and there that he cleans up and he bundles him up as best as he can. The vampire was shivering, despite cold not affecting a vampire like it would a human.

What had happened to Angelus to do this to him?

"Or no, you go by Angel now, don't you?" He murmurs. He might not have been apart of the Watcher's Council any longer, but that didn't mean he still didn't keep tabs on things. A few years felt like a decade to him, in how much he had obsessively learned-and grieved.

As if the world were a trigger, Angel finally starts to stir, his eyes openingly slowly. He looks around for a moment before his eyes settle on the other man.

"You must be wondering where you are right now," the man tells him. "I-"

Angel lunges at him.

He can only briefly be thankful that he had done the spell which had helped him get Angel here, as the reflexes it offers lets him at least get an arm up, despite the blinding speed in which Angel reaches for him. The vampire grabs his arm and bites, making him gasp, sucking greedily on his arm.

 _So he_ _ **was**_ _hungry._

He'd feel severe pain in the morning, but right now, all he can do is look as Angel holds on for a moment longer, before pushing his arm away, scooting back, looking at the man with growing horror in his eyes that have gained _recognition._ Not recognition of the man but of the _world._

"Oh god," Angel says hoarsely. "I'm not-I'm sorry-I'm-I didn't mean that. I didn't mean-"

"It's alright." The man assures him. "I know. I know you didn't mean it, Angel."

That stops Angel and he looks at the man in confusion. "Do I... _know_ you?"

Watcher he might have been. And he easily could have hated the world after the death of India, hated anything that wasn't human, for the love that had been taken from him. Instead it had made him want to know more about the world, even if only from the safety of his own bubble.

"No, but I know who you are. As for me, I was a Watcher. Now I guess I'm only a man. I'm Christopher. Christopher Botwell."

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I hope you enjoyed this!

Let me know what you thought!

-PhoenixJustice


	12. Chapter 12

Becoming, Part Three

By: PhoenixJustice

Disclaimer: BTVS is owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and others who are not me. I only own this story and make no profit from this.

Warning: Rated M for graphic sexual content, language, violence, etc.

Pairing: Spike/Buffy Summers, etc.

Setting: In the middle of Becoming, Part Two; possible spoilers for the entire series (including comics.)

Summary: Well. They never said it'd be an _easy_ Reward.

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They all looked near bursting at the seams from not asking questions that seemed to be obviously on their minds. She was surprised they didn't ask more. Perhaps it was the dual curiosity of a new Slayer in tow (Faith) and Buffy's admission of being thrown back into time (of her own volition, even. For her, it hadn't been a hard choice. A world without Spike...that had been a world that she could not ever bear to be in, not anymore. She had only borne the tough weight of not having him for all those years out of sheer willpower, to see Dawn safe. After she was no longer needed as much in that regard..well, willpower could only go so far.)

Well that and their obvious wonder about Spike and Buffy's connection. Because she was pretty sure that even a _dead_ person could see how she felt about him, even if she _hadn't_ talked about her feelings for him. Love was an emotion that at one point in her life she had been afraid she couldn't feel. But she had been wrong. The problem was that she felt _too much._ So much so that it had all overwhelmed her. Love for her friends who had become her true family, love for Dawn who was family at first by hands of magic but who was her dearest sister, the person she had sacrificed herself for, jumping off of Glory's tower.

And love for Spike, of course. It was something she had been blind (partly because of her own self-denial) to for a long time but something that had been there back then, when Riley had been unhappy, going to vampire flophouses because she couldn't connect with him the way he wanted (because she had already been in love-and hadn't consciously realized it-and it was not with Riley), when she had been put into that Will-Be-Done spell by Willow which told her and Spike to get married (not to love each other, which they had both admitted to under the spell's influence, revealing the truth, but to get married.)

When...maybe even further back, when a drunken vampire in a magic shop made a strong declaration about love and friendship and being Love's Bitch. And...maybe even before that? Back when a "Hello cutie" from a vampire who helped her saved the world had shocked her system in ways she couldn't even fathom why then. When she was reminded of that shock, that feeling later during that time the drunken vampire worked beside her against a few random vampires and they worked so well together, even then, that she hadn't wanted it to end (even if she didn't want to admit that fact to herself.)

That singular, overwhelming love. That love had saved her. _Spike_ had saved her. More times than she could count, in ways that she probably could never articulate in the ways that she wished to. But he loved her. Past or future Spike...he loved her. That was the driving force that gave her the will to go on, even during the darkest times of her life.

"Spike," Xander says, though he is not addressing the vampire but Buffy instead. "Doesn't have a soul. He can't love you."

"Like I love him?" Buffy says brightly, before sobering up. "He loves. More than anyone else I have ever known, past or present. A soul…" She looks up at Spike briefly, his eyes holding hers, curious, for a moment before she looks away. "It doesn't do what you think it does. It doesn't give you a way to feel emotions. Vampires feel emotions, even without a soul. A soul guides a person's morals more, makes it easier to define right and wrong. But these are things a being can do without one. Even Angelus can do that. It's just that there are those, like him, that are much less inclined to do so. Who fight against it harder and revel more in the bloodshed and the violence and worse things besides."

"I'm not saying this to make excuses or to ask for your permission," she continues. "I love Spike. I'll be with Spike for as long as he'll ever want to be with me."

She looks back at Spike, whose eyes burn now with heat as he looks at her, making her nearly flush at the look. He smiles at her then, that soft smile that he had for only her, the smile that let her always know just the depth of his feelings for her and feels herself smiling in return.

"Not to break up this...moment," Giles says, looking a bit flustered. Not that she was surprised at that though. During this point in time, he was just coming out of that near inflexible mask of Watcher's Council man that he had wrapped around himself (though she could see bits, even here and now, of the true man that lay underneath, the man and the Ripper.) "But besides your...paramour, what are your plans in Sunnydale?"

"Well she promised to show me the sights," Faith says brightly, smirking. She leaned against a wall, arms crossed, though she looked rather relaxed. Running into her and teaching her sooner had been the right move. "Like the Espresso Pump and The Bronze. The Bronze is the big hangout 'round these parts, right?"

"Uh...yeah." Xander says, a little nonplussed. He recovers pretty quickly, however. "We're not a big place, Sunnydale, but there's a lot for a Slayer to do here."

"Or two, even!" Willow says, perkily. She often, especially during this time period, tried to diffuse tension with that kind of attitude.

Oh, but wasn't this also the time where Willow and Xander were about to fool around? She'd have to see if she could help nip that in the bud. All would do in the end is make things awkward for a while. Maybe she could talk to them separately later or something.

"Yes, well," Giles says, a bit uncomfortably. "That is some of the things that we should talk about later."

"But for now," Joyce says firmly. "Welcome home."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Things had, surprisingly, went better than expected. And given her _usual_ luck, that surprised her. Certainly better than a fight with her mom and with her friends in front of a ton of people like the first time around. Though there had been a bit of awkwardness at the end when the 'party' had wrapped up.

"Bye, Buffy. See you tomorrow?" Willow asks, coming cautiously closer for a hug.

Buffy hugs her tightly, but not too tightly (normal human, she had to remember. Couldn't handle her strength like Spike or Faith could.) "Count on it." She tells her. "Though I hope Giles doesn't expect it to be _super_ early. Still a bit of jet lag, for lack of a better word, to work through. We've been doing some travelling."

"Giles expects to see you in the afternoon. And he can hear you." Giles says drily. But he too comes forward for a hug, though she can see him looking over at Spike as cautiously as Willow had. "Welcome home, my dear."

"Thank you." She tells him with a smile, taking care not to hug him too hard as well.

"Spike," Giles says, after pulling back from hugging Buffy, his countenance much more serious, tinged with that bit that could only be defined as Ripper. "I suppose I needn't tell you what will happen if you ever hurt her?"

"I know," Spike says just as seriously, for once forgoing the snarky humor that he often employed. "You'd be fighting a pile of dust, cause I'd have staked myself first, but I know. I love her. I don't expect any of you lot to understand that, but I do. She's my world."

She swallows back against the sudden lump of emotion at her throat. Spike was a vocal man and not one to hold back anything, but he wasn't generally the type to explain himself to anyone. Not in that manner. It showed her the depth of feelings he had for her. It was something she knew very well now, but it never failed to stun her, the depth of that love.

Giles nods after a moment and steps back, not looking completely accepting but letting it go nevertheless. Oz merely gives a nod to them all, but still somehow managed, in that Oz way of his, to convey a lot of things in that one nod, and is off with the rest of them. Which left things suddenly quiet and a tinge awkward, with her, her vampire partner, and her Slayer sister standing there with her mother.

"Well," Joyce says, a little flustered looking, but she was as stubborn as Buffy was (or more like Buffy was as stubborn as she was) and pushes on regardless. "I didn't know when to expect you, but your room is as it was left, Buffy. And Faith? I don't have our guest room ready but the couch is free to use until something is worked out."

Faith is quiet for a moment, looking closely at Joyce, before finally giving a small, but genuine smile. Buffy knew what that smile meant.

"Thanks," Faith tells Joyce. "I appreciate it."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

There was another small bit of awkwardness when Joyce is heading to her bedroom for bed, obviously wanting to say something about Spike being in Buffy's bedroom, but the shock of Buffy's return (and her return to the past from the _future)_ left her from saying anything. The moment passes and Joyce merely looks happy once more that Buffy is there.

"You'll be here tomorrow?" Joyce asks Buffy, giving her a quick hug.

" _Yes."_ Buffy says, but smiles. "Well, I mean I'll probably be around town for this and that. Stuff to do, you know, to make up, but no I won't skip town again without your knowledge."

"I can't tell you how that knowledge makes me feel." Joyce says, wryly, showing off her own sense of humor that peeked through every so often. "Goodnight, Buffy." She pauses before heading into her bedroom, looking directly at Spike. "Goodnight, William."

Spike looks surprised, eyes widening slightly. "Uh, goodnight mum."

She nods and closes her door behind her. Buffy takes that as her cue to make her way to her old bedroom, with Spike in tow (Faith had waved off both Buffy and Spike after getting a blanket and pillows 'You don't gotta hover. Not going anywhere. And anyway, this is more comfy than some of the places I've had to lay, let me tell you.')

He looks around interestedly at her bedroom, closing the door absently behind him.

"Not sure what I expected, to be honest." He tells her, walking around a bit. And the sight of him there with her in her bedroom (even if it hadn't been her bedroom for many years) leaves her with an extra warm and fluttery feeling in her stomach. Her tarnished Knight in leather and black. "A bit dainty."

"Well I _was_ seventeen, you know," She says, eyeing some of the boyband posters on her walls. "I wouldn't mind sprucing it up a bit. But overall...it has a lot of nostalgic value for me. Not always _good_ memories, but memories nevertheless."

"But really," She continues, moving her voice down to a soft whisper that only he'd be able to hear. She pulls her shirt over her head in one quick movement, hearing his sharp intake of breath. "Is that what you really want to focus on right now?"

"Fuck no." He breathes.

And reaches for her.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

She had a lot of stops to make and outside of one thing, which she felt was the most important one, she wasn't sure the order of the rest of them to do. Regardless, Joyce was determined not to let _any_ of them go anywhere for the day, without a huge (celebratory) breakfast. Spike didn't actually need the food, of course, but he enjoyed food with his usual enthusiasm for life (or unlife) and goodness knew that Faith needed continued stuff that resembled normalcy (considering the terrible people she had been unlucky enough to have as parents.)

So Buffy munches on some bacon, watching Spike continue to stack pancake after pancake onto his plate, watching him do it with the sort of grace that only a vampire could pull off (and the fact that he did it for something as mundane as pancakes showed to her his casualness about a lot of things that she appreciated. It was this lack of rigidity to the rules as a whole which led him to take out the Anointed One and do away with the Order of Aurelius. Spike had been the punk rocker against the Authority since becoming a vampire (though that didn't take away in the slightest the gentle poet he also was. He was an incredible dichotomy of a person that somehow made it all work without ever coming off as fake in any aspect of himself.)

And while Spike does that, with Joyce eating into her much less stacked stack of pancakes (though she too looked rather impressed at Spike's Tower of Pancake that he was constructing), Faith is digging into her eggs like a thirsty person who has found an oasis.

"Good?" Buffy asks her, while in the background she can vaguely hear Joyce comment to Spike 'Are you sure it'll hold up? The weight-'

"Really is. I'm _fine,_ B." Faith says, stopping mid bite at Buffy's look. "Not about to sweep the rug out from under you, yeah? Pretty sure even if I _did_ switch bodies, I'd be outed immediately by Spike who'd be super pissed. He'd know you if you were made invisible to the world."

Faith was, of course, alluding to when her future self and Buffy had switched bodies from the item that the Mayor had left Faith. Buffy hadn't told her everything about her future self, but she had told her enough. She wanted to be as truthful as she could, without unnecessarily hurting Faith. She wanted her to make her own ideas and thoughts and conclusions.

"And anyway, I want to create my own path as a Slayer. Faith Lehane, her own woman."

"Damn straight." Buffy smiles. "Plus? We can make a path as the greatest Slayer duo of like all time."

"Well considering there was only one other Duo before I came around, I'm sure it won't be too hard."

"About that," Buffy starts. In the background there are sounds of much syrup being poured and Joyce exclaiming 'The other side is slipping!' "I've had a lot of time to think about that. As much as it's sort of ego stroking-in its own way-to think I'm _the_ Slayer to be the one whom inadvertently created something new by dying and coming back, leaving me as a Slayer still and a new line to be born, The Slayer has been around since what, the beginning? In all that time, the odds of no other Slayer dying and being brought back somehow just seems impossible. I mean counting The Slayers who had been turned into vampires _alone_ …"

"You think the Council…?" Faith trails off on her question but the question itself was clear.

"The Council has a done a lot of things in the name of things being done in their way, what they think is the 'right' way, so yeah. I definitely feel like even if it's not a practice being done now, it's still been _done._ That Slayers in the past have been killed to keep the line 'pure' and to keep only one Slayer in play at a time. Less Slayers in play-"

"Less they gotta try and control." Faith finishes. "Easier for them to manipulate if they only gotta manipulate one girl."

"Or guy," Buffy says. "But that's a very rare thing. And even then, for whatever reason, the few guys who have ever been imbued with any kind of Slayer power, they've only gotten the dreams and memories."

"Guys, huh? I think you mentioned something about that. Billy, right?"

"Mmhmm. And less happily, Harth Fray. But yeah. Spike, your pancakes are leaning."

"Ah, shit!"

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

After everyone got suitably cleaned up from the Pancake Incident, Buffy is ready to leave for the main thing she had been thinking about all morning, but gets stopped by her mother.

"So you're off to see the others then? And oh, Spike, can you be outside right now with the sunlight being so bright right now?"

Spike smiles at her worry. He'd always had a soft spot for mothers, but Buffy's mother was definitely on the list of top ones for him. Her mistake aside for learning about Buffy's Calling aside, she was a strong lady and he could see where Buffy gained her wit and strength from. Summers women were tough stuff.

"No problem, mum." He says, shrugging. "The car is painted up so the light won't hit me. But I can still drive."

"And uh, yeah, mom." Buffy says. She looked a bit impatient, bouncing a bit up and down on the balls of her feet, leaving Spike to do his not to stare (so obviously) at her pert little chest. He could still feel a bit of the sting of her nails that had dug so deliciously in his back last night. Wildcat, she was. "After I take care of a couple things."

"Buffy, Rupert has been waiting for a long time. Be sure to check in on him."

"Rupert, is it now?" Buffy says teasingly. The sparkle in her eyes, the life and fire of her… he could see, without a doubt, how his future self had fallen in love with her so easily and so quickly. She sobers up a bit. "I will, mom. I promise. I gotta make everything 'official' and present Faith and everything."

"Pretty sure the only official thing I've ever been told to go to is detention. And juvie." Faith quips. "I'll get her there."

"You don't even know where it's at." Buffy protests, as Faith pushes her out of the kitchen, towards the front door.

Spike starts to follow, but stops, looking at Joyce. "I know this has been a lot to take in, but thank you for accepting her unconditionally. Both of them, even. Faith has been through a lot. Buffy...there's still things she doesn't even want to tell _me_ , some of the things she's been through. She needs family, end of the day, no matter what that shit Council wants to tell her."

"She's my daughter. I made one mistake and I've beaten myself up over it more than you know. But I'm here for her, whatever may come."

"Or who?" Spike asks, almost casually.

"I wanted a lot of things for her, William. But a lot of that is just...the cotton candy dream that all mothers think of for their own daughters, their children. It's not fair to ask her to be something she isn't. And she loves you. I can see that. And you love her." It wasn't a question.

"With everything that I am."

"Then remember that. That no matter what comes, that she'll always have someone on her side."

"Always."

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Well, Buffy thinks, she supposed it could wait one more day. She'd need a bit of time to make sure things were done so stuff wasn't, well, _collapsed_. It'd let her get Faith more acclimated to the climate that was Sunnydale and its Hellmouth.

The ride to Giles' apartment ('flat', Spike insisted) was uneventful, outside of Spike's deliberate butchering of one of Billy Idol's songs that had come over the classic rock radio station (He was obviously still mad, decades later, that the singer had stolen his look.) Still, something felt...off. And she wasn't sure just what it was either. She glances at both Spike and Faith but neither seemed affected in any way. Maybe it was just impatience at not being able to do more today.

Spike starts to put his coat over his head as they make it to Giles' place and he parks, but Buffy stops him with a hand on his arm. He glances at her curiously but she merely smiles at him.

"Wait there. Silly vampire."

He raises a brow at her but does as she says, leaving Faith to watch the scene interestedly as she too gets out on the other side of the car, with Buffy making her way over to that side. Buffy leans down near Spike's car door.

"Now come out."

He gives her a skeptical look but does so and before he can react, a clicking sound and a cover has him blinking.

Buffy holds the black umbrella over his head.

"Honestly, I don't know why more vampires don't use them."

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They make it to the door after that moment, with Buffy and Faith laughing a bit at Spike's initial exasperated reaction but he shrugs it off moments later. The door to Giles' place opens and Giles walks out.

"Oh good, you're here." Buffy says, smiling. "I figured, but you didn't answer your phone, but oh hey, can you go ahead and invite-" She stops at the look on the Watcher's face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I would hope." A voice says behind him. "Since we now have two Slayers."

A person comes from behind Giles.

"Oh, but I'm remiss in not having introduced myself. I am-"

"Wesley." Buffy says.

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I hope you enjoyed this!

Let me know what you thought!

-PhoenixJustice


	13. Chapter 13

Becoming, Part Three

By: PhoenixJustice

Disclaimer: BTVS is owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and others who are not me. I only own this story and make no profit from this.

Warning: Rated M for graphic sexual content, language, violence, etc.

Pairing: Spike/Buffy Summers, etc.

Setting: In the middle of Becoming, Part Two; possible spoilers for the entire series (including comics.)

Summary: Well. They never said it'd be an _easy_ Reward.

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"Oh, my pardon Miss Summers. So you've heard of me already?" Wesley inquires politely.

"Well...what kind of Slayer would I be, if I didn't brush up on the more famous of the Watcher's Families?" She replies in return, her smile wide and entirely fake, but she did her best to make it look genuine. She _was_ genuinely happy to see him, after all, but his appearance here threw her for a loop.

She supposed she shouldn't have been surprised, given the Watcher's Council propensity for control. Did that mean that they had discovered Faith? She sees Wesley look at Spike and Faith with a curiousness he cannot quite hide (this was still the fresh faced Wesley after all, still enmeshed quite thoroughly in the Watcher Council's grip) but he doesn't have a look of recognition upon him at Faith.

She thinks very quickly, then: "Sorry, Giles. I didn't realize you were busy. We'll come back once you've settled Mr. Wyndam-Pryce."

"You don't have to do that, Miss Summers." Wesley says. "You can take care of whatever Slayer and Watcher business you might have; I am only an observer."

 _Right now._ She thinks. But that was good. He was here very early, compared to the first time around, but he wasn't here to replace Giles. What _was_ he here for? She gives Giles a quick look and he gives her the slightest head tilt, which gave her relief. Good, he understood. He didn't want the Council to know about Faith (or Spike?) any more than she did apparently. At least until they all knew why Wesley was here.

"It's okay!" She says, putting that perky smile back on, glancing at Spike and Faith who had blessedly remained quiet through this exchange. At the name Wesley, they both understood as well, which helped immensely. Both had been given extensive knowledge by her about Wesley (and many other things besides.) Until she knew what the Council was doing, she wanted to give them as little as possible. "It wasn't anything important. It can wait. I'll see you later...Giles?"

"Of course, my dear." Giles replies.

She nods at him and at Wesley both.

"Well," Wesley says, a bit awkwardly now. "It was nice to meet you, Miss Summers. And your friends both."

She can't see behind her what Faith or Spike do but she assumes it was a nod all the same.

"You too. We'll see each other again soon enough I'm sure."

And she turns back the way she came, wondering for a moment how they'd finagle Spike back into the car without a hint of smoke or sizzle to give anything away (why hadn't Wesley asked about the umbrella? Maybe it was too forward for him. He had yet to shed that shell yet, after all) when she glances back to see Giles ushering Wesley back inside, giving her another look and nod.

She nods in relief and they all get back into the car without any issue.

The car is silent for a few minutes as they make their way out before, without any planning on any of their parts, all three of them simultaneously speak the same four words.

"Son of a _bitch."_

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"So what do we do now?" Faith asks, leaning her head back against the seat. "He obviously didn't know I'm the other Slayer, but…"

"I…" Buffy starts, rubbing at her face. "I didn't expect this. He didn't come this early before. I know they were keen on finding the new Slayer, but why bring him _here?_ If they don't know where you are, then why bring him to Sunnydale? And why him? Wesley wasn't, well _early_ Wesley wasn't, that great at lying, so it's not like he could keep much secret. And he's obviously not here to try and take Giles' place as Watcher again (which never worked, by the way.)"

"Maybe we should have stayed longer to get some more information out of him." Spike says, not in an accusatory way, but merely a thinking out loud kinda way.

"Maybe. But questions _would_ have come up about you two, even if it was just like," Here she affects her best kind of posh English accent. "'Oh, pardon me, but I do believe we've never been properly introduced. I'm Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, etc etc and you are…?' And I'm not really trying to _lie_ per se; not yet. And only if we need to."

"As needed kind of basis, huh?" Faith says wryly.

"Pretty much."

"He'll still find out eventually, pet." Spike says, one hand on the steering wheel, the other waving around a bit. They had stopped and parked a few minutes ago, so there was no danger of Spike not paying attention where he drived. "He may not have noticed I'm a vamp or Faith is the other Slayer, but he still probably noticed all the paint on the windshield, if not the windows."

The black paint covered all the windows as well as the windshield and back window, to keep any potential sunlight coming in, with only a small gap unpainted so Spike could see where he was driving.

"I know." She sighs. "I just was caught so off guard and I _hate_ that. If we had some time to plan, I think we could figure out _something._ I like to think we're like Batman and his extended Bat Family: give us time to plan and we're unbeatable...or something like that anyway."

It's quiet for a moment. And then:

"We could just tell him the truth." Faith finally says.

Buffy turns to her in shock.

"Maybe not the _whole_ truth, but at least who _I_ am. And Spike, if you want. Wesley may not like it but we might get idea of what's going on. Maybe he'd tell his boss or something. Travers, right? The dickhead?"

That manages to get a chuckle out of Buffy, despite the situation.

"Right now we're in the dark about things." Faith continues. "I mean, Wesley is as well about me. And Spike too. But we're even more in the dark, because we don't know what they're planning or have already planned."

Faith learned fast. Having Spike and Buffy as her teachers, even just this far in, was already paying dividends, in terms of Faith and her self-esteem.

"He tells his boss and we could play it from there, figure out what their planning. They'd be...I don't know...more likely to show their hand?"

"Or act so shady as to be a kind of bullseye itself," Spike says, nodding approvingly. He looks at Buffy. His eyes grow soft for a moment as he touches her face briefly. "What do you think, pet?"

She closes her eyes for a moment against his touch before it leaves, opening her eyes.

"I think...you're right," She says, slowly. "Both of you. You're right. I just panicked. It's been a long time since I've dealt with the Council's bullshit. We'll be honest. It's not like we have anything to hide. And," Here she touches Spike's face in return, cupping his face gently. "I have nothing I want to hide. I'm proud of who I am. And who I love."

He smiles at her then, that soft, boyish smile that she had only been able to see rarely once upon a time. And it never failed to make her heart skip a beat.

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They had taken up a routine after that, funnily enough. But not immediately. Once Angel had gotten over the horror of drinking a human's blood again, despite Christopher's assurances, he had tried to take off, despite the weakness in his body and spirit. He had stopped him from leaving immediately, putting to use some more of his held magic to be able to physically hold him back. It didn't take much; the fight had gone out of Angel almost immediately.

" _So what now?" Angel asks, miserably. "If you want to kill me, well, there are those who'd surely like to be first in line but I won't stop you now."_

 _Christopher eyes him for a moment, then:_

" _I'm going to get you some clothes, then I'm going to set Mariposa settled down for the night."_

" _Mariposa…?"_

 _As if her name was a trigger, the sweet face of the golden retriever comes into the room, tail wagging. She jumps onto the bed before either can respond, her tail wagging further at Angel. He looks surprised._

" _Dogs usually…" He looks up at Christopher for a moment then down at Mariposa. "Usually animals flee from me."_

 _Mariposa continues to wag her tail, panting happily. After a slight moment, Angel moves his hand cautiously to her head, petting her. Christopher watches this for a moment then heads over to a dresser, pulling out some clothes, moving to hand them to Angel. The vampire looks at them blankly for a moment._

" _Get dressed. I'll be right back." Christopher says. "Come on, Mariposa."_

 _The dog gets up, tail still wagging. The door closes._

 _Angel stares at the clothes for a long moment, before his hands move forward, remembering their use and starts to dress._

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" _Sorry if the fit isn't great. I can get you something more tomorrow." Christopher says, once he returns._

 _Angel shakes his head. "It's...fine."_

" _And you?" Christopher asks, standing near the door._

 _Angel shrugs a bit. "I'm fine."_

" _Yes, I'm sure." Christopher says wryly. "Because getting spat out of a portal, having gone through who knows what, is the usual, hmm?"_

 _He looks up at Christopher, not sure what to say, but the man merely pats him on the shoulder._

" _Don't worry about it. Get some sleep. We can talk more in the morning."_

" _I can't." Angel says. "I need to go. I have to-"_

 _Buffy._

 _Oh god, the look on her face at the end. All the horrible thing he did once his soul was loosed. Forgiveness would never come and he'd have to make peace with that._

" _In the morning." Christopher says, not unkindly. "You're not in any shape to go anywhere right now, even after that blood you had."_

 _Angel tenses but there is no censure in Christopher's face at that._

" _Your bed." Angel says. "I can sleep anywhere else."_

 _The other man shakes his head. "Don't worry about it. Just rest. Goodnight, Angel."_

" _Good...goodnight."_

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 _Morning comes and Angel manages to venture out of the bedroom without any help, though the weakness he feels in his limbs is still strong. But it lets him focus on moving forward through the house and not have to focus on his time in Hell, or whatever Hell like plain he had been sent to._

 _He finds Christopher setting some plates down onto a small kitchen table that set nestled near a glass door and finds the dog, Mariposa, eating eagerly out of her bowl. At Angel's approach, however, her head moves up and she immediately comes running up to him, tail going a mile a minute._

" _Mariposa, down. Let him in."_

 _She backs off at Christopher's command and Angel makes his way in._

" _I was just going to get you up. It's early, especially by vampire standards, but I figured you could still use something."_

 _He gestures Angel to take a seat, taking one himself, waiting with a raised eyebrow until he does._

" _Go ahead; eat, drink."_

" _I don't really eat-" That was more of Spike's thing. The younger vampire took pleasure in so many different things that Angelus would scoff at, though, of course, some of them he secretly envied. Secretly envied the vampire who was unafraid of what anyone thought of him._

" _I know you don't need that exactly, but it couldn't hurt. You're still weak. Plus it'll go with your drink."_

 _He points at a glass near Angel with a fork, which was filled quite full with a red substance. Instantly Angel can feel his hunger rising. His weakness had kept him from smelling it immediately but even as weak as he was, from here he could smell the blood._

" _You didn't have to."_

" _Well, I was going out anyway and there is a butcher's attached near our Farmer's Market so it wasn't like I had to go far."_

" _Why are you doing this?" Angel bursts suddenly. "I'm a_ _vampire._ _You're a_ _Watcher._ _We are both the enemies of one another."_

" _If that was the case, then you'd have killed me why I slept." Christopher said, without hesitation. "And I am a_ _former_ _Watcher, Angel. I was the Watcher of the previous Slayer."_

 _That gives Angel pause. He can see the sadness there now in Christopher's eyes, mixed with an almost defiant look. A look of a man that refused to die, no matter the circumstances thrown his way._

" _I-I'm sorry." He didn't know what else to say._

" _When she died...no, even_ _before_ _that, I learned how the world worked. How black and white were lies fed to us Watcher's, just like it is fed to so much of the world at large. I could have become bitter over everything. And I_ _was_ _angry. So angry I would have burned everything that had ever dared hurt her. But I knew I couldn't let it consume me. She would never have forgiven me if I had. She was my Slayer. My lasting legacy would have been just another page in the darkened history books of the Watcher's Council. But that's not what I want, nor what she wanted of me."_

" _What do you want?" Angel finds himself asking, caught up in the fervor of Christopher's words._

" _There's a cancer in the heart of the Watcher's Council."_

 _Christopher pauses for a moment, drawn in thought._

" _I want to kill him."_

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After that, a pattern was established, where Angel would meet Christopher in the kitchen for breakfast, then they'd both work on physical and magical (the latter in Christopher's case only) skills, have dinner and then Angel would take Mariposa on her walk before bed (Christopher still hadn't asked for his bed back yet.)

It was strange, but not bad. It was a sense of normalcy that Angel found that he desperately needed. After Hell, after _Angelus,_ well, he needed something to keep him going, keep him from breaking again. Even if it was as simple as walking a dog and playing fetch with her.

"You don't have to do this." Angel says, some days into it.

"I know I don't. But I'm glad to. I know what it's like to be drawn into dark places, Angel. It happened to me when India died. Even if _you_ don't feel like you can be forgiven, it doesn't mean you don't deserve to be forgiven. We all stumble and fall. I didn't have anyone there to pick me up, but I can be the kind of man that helps pick another person up."

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"So a new Watcher in town? Not good, I'm guessing, from your look." Xander says.

Buffy shrugs. "Yes and no. He isn't a bad man himself, but this whole situation...we're all in the dark here and no flashlight in sight to point us through."

She looks down at her coffee cup and sighs.

Currently it was just her and Xander at the Espresso Pump. She didn't want to make the mistake of neglecting her friends. She had taken off initially, but so many factors were at play there (including the fact that she hadn't seen Spike in…) Now that she was back, she wanted to keep them in the loop as much as possible, to help show them, like she and Spike had been showing Faith, that the world was not so easily one side or another. The gradients of gray lingered everywhere.

"You've got a lot on your plate, don't you?" Xander asks.

She looks up.

"I never really got that. I mean, obviously world endage and all that but… even without the Time Travel, you've always taken a lot on your shoulders."

"I have. Sometimes you all haven't made it easy for me." She admits.

"Angel." Xander says.

She nods. "That, and other things. Though that was a big chunk of it for awhile. I know I didn't always make it easy, with mixed messages of 'vampires are all evil! Grr!' and being with Angel, soul or not. But-"

Xander's quiet for a long moment, looking down at his own coffee cup before finally speaking again.

"I was jealous." He admits now.

"I know."

"I don't _really_ think of you in that way anymore." He says. "Not really. But it still hurt to see you so taken by him when I had been by your side all that time helping you."

"I know." She says again. "I'm sorry."

"I am too...I've been kind of a jerk sometimes." He says sheepishly.

"Sometimes." She says, amused. "But again, so have I. Can we just promise from here on out to continue to be even better friends and family? We'll keep each other on the right path."

She holds out her hand. Xander takes it, shaking it.

"Deal." He says. "I'll hold you to that. Especially if I get suckered into a shopping trip by Cordelia."

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"Don't do what you're thinking about doing." Buffy says.

"Do what? Eat my sandwich? Cause the egg salad seemed a bit off, but the turkey and cheese on rye-" Willow says.

"I mean Xander."

After coffee with Xander, she had moved onto lunch with Willow next (while Spike and Faith were holding down the fort at her mom's house and doing some impromptu training.)

Willow looks at her with wide eyes, sandwich in hand.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...I know, very much know, how teenage hormones can be a rampaging thing of rampagey-ness, but just think about what you're doing. And who would be affected by it."

Willow frowns now. "I-"

"If you want to do it," Buffy shrugs. "I mean, I can't stop you. But if you want to do it, I'd rather it be because both of you are free and no one would get hurt. I've seen how that road goes down, Willow."

"I liked him." Willow says quietly, putting her sandwich down, looking down.

"Isn't that the key?" Buffy says, causing Willow to look up at her. "Liked, not like? Like I said, if you want to explore that, then that's what you'll do. But what about Oz? I don't want to see anyone get hurt, not even Cordelia. So if you want to do it, then let Oz down gently."

Willow's eyes fill with tears. "I love Oz." She stops and her eyes widen. "I love Oz."

"Then that's your answer, I think." Buffy says, with a smile, wiping at Willow's tears. "Now finish your turkey and cheese."

"On rye." Willow hiccups.

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The guitar continues to get played and she sits back and listens to it interested in the notes being played. He was quite a compositionist without even trying.

Minutes pass in complete silence, save for the guitar.

"You are the wolf. The wolf is you." She finally says.

The guitar playing stops. He looks at her curiously for a moment. His eyes look up for a moment, thoughtful, playing a few notes before stopping again.

"I am not the one holding the beast back, but holding myself back from being my complete self. Don't fight who you are but embrace it."

"Yes."

He nods, going back to playing his guitar.

"Nice talk, Oz."

"Same to you, Buffy."

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I hope you enjoyed this!

Let me know what you thought!

-PhoenixJustice


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